星期日, 12月 06, 2020

亂畫|陪我畫畫3



這次的影片不一樣,由兩個鏡頭組成的。

一個是Samsung的S10,另一個鏡頭是Canon的M10。M10的比較短,主要是因為擺放的方向沒這麼好,加上有限的記憶卡,於是它主要是用來“展示”我的筆的畫面。哈哈!

這次用Windows 10來弄這支影片。用Shotcut來“連接”、“切換”鏡頭,然後用Video Editor來加字幕。剛才試了Movavi,覺得很好用!不過⋯⋯是要收費的。於是就從電腦裡刪除了。

十一月結束至今,我還沒有再畫畫。在周記本裡的塗鴉不算,其實也沒怎麼塗鴉了。這是一場說停就停的習慣啊!不過,得繼續這樣下去。這個月的挑戰是每天走八千步,今天沒達標,也不打算衝刺了。不過,最重要的是,要專注於RHOSP的lab exercise。這是我幾經辛苦終於拿回來的lab environment!24號結束。加油!

星期一, 11月 30, 2020

亂畫|十一月的挑戰



完成了十一月的挑戰,畫人的臉部。

人的臉部是我最討厭畫的之一。我對五官的怎麼擺放還有空間管理,有相當的困擾。加上自己的畫功有限,因此都不怎麼喜歡畫人。還有,我其實挺討厭鉛筆、蠟筆的。覺得它們會把雙手的沾滿了毒素,一定要洗手⋯⋯話說回來,這個活動也算是對自己的一種強迫挑戰吧。

剛開始的時候,純粹逼自己“完成”任務的。被那句小時候就背的滾瓜爛熟的話影響著:天下無難事,只怕有心人。雖然也常這樣對自己說,勉強沒有幸福的⋯⋯不過,這次的勉強,還真最後讓我找到了樂趣。我開始感到其中樂趣的時候,是開始嘗試用炭筆的時候。發現那手感還有效果,都給了自己一個很大的驚喜!可能比起鉛筆,對於炭筆我有比較大的包容量。炭筆應該沒這麼毒吧?這應該是其中原因之一。

我上網查了關於那支令我改觀的炭筆,英國品牌,Derwent。我沒有印象自己曾買這麼高端的品牌。後來想想,這可能是n年前在某間書局看到便宜的人物畫像手冊套裝而買下的。我還真的無法追溯這n年前到底有多久了⋯⋯

挑戰的最後,我終於敢畫人像了!這是我意外的收穫。雖然偷懶了兩天,不過,根據Matt D'Avella的2-day rules,我還算沒失敗。;)

十二月的挑戰,決定了,會是8千步數挑戰。至於會不會去跑步,我還真的不知道。可能像昨天那樣,圍著沙發轉了個小時吧?嗯,加油!

星期三, 11月 25, 2020

聽我訴說

我在網上寫東西,已經有⋯⋯有廿年了吧?

我曾經寫詩、寫散文、寫小說、寫歌。我想把自己定位為創作者。不過,寫著寫著,就變成了寫情緒、發牢騷。這是哪門的創作人啊?

這廿年,說長不長,說短也不短,我卻沒有成為一個真正的創作人。然而,我對創作的定義是什麼?我暫時也不想去釐清。

我就是這樣的,從滿腔熱血,然後以為自己熱血依舊,卻早已忘了初心,活在自己營造的假象世界中。說懊惱嗎?當然。說不快樂嗎?也不然全。

經營了十多年的部落格,還有十多年的YouTube頻道,不值得驕傲嗎?我也不清楚。有多少人像我這般沒什麼作為,卻還是繼續發文章、上傳影片呢?呵~

我還真的不曉得要怎麼去定義自己想成為的創作人。或許可以開始想想吧。

會有這樣的反思,是因為上了一堂免費的YouTube經營的課程。裡頭提及的SEO、funnel、關鍵詞等,都不是我沒聽過的事。不過,我是因為沒有粉絲而覺得沮喪,還是因為我沒有達到我曾想要的“創作人”的要求而沮喪?

我把時間,花在對的事情上嗎?還是,我其實早就滿足於現況,因此沒做什麼調整或突破?抑或是,早已失望而止於現狀?

不想了,這個月最重要的是,完成每天練習人物素描。還有,RHOSP的課程終於“討”回來了,只有一個月的時間給我好好利用那lab。下個月,或許就該注重於RH的課程,畢竟還收到了另一個免費課程。:D

明年的事,等十二月底再打算吧。

星期日, 11月 22, 2020

亂畫|陪我畫畫2



今天用M10錄製了這支影片。由於記憶卡內存有限,於是錄到快要完的時候,就停止了。

這M10終於被解凍了。我也忘了最後一次用它是什麼時候。冰島旅行過後,還有用它嗎?我也沒什麼記憶。不過,很開心的是,它還能用!哈!

前天第一次用炭筆作畫,讓我驚艷不已,終於真的可以享受人物素描了!

剛在筆筒裡,把全部鉛筆拿出來,這支炭筆,還真的是僅有一支。幾個月前在shoppee買了套Maries牌的炭筆,共有六支,我卻抽了這支英國Derwant牌子的炭筆!根據谷歌搜尋的結果,這牌子在那篇文章裡排名第二呢!我根本不會買名牌或者貴的文具,這支筆,還真的不知道從哪來的。後來回想,應該是在n年前買的一套素描教材送的。

這讓我開始期待每天大概半小時的人物素描時光。還以為到月底的時候,可能還在畫耳朵還是嘴唇。今天都差不多把耳朵畫完了。哈!

話說回來,這是前天和昨天畫的。^^


聽我唱:繁花



這首歌,在CMCO前錄好的,和那首Don't it make my brown eyes blue同一天錄製的。

當時以為CMCO只會維持兩個星期,因此很多東西都留在工作室那裡。

這首歌,是在看「三生三世十里桃花」的連續劇裡聽來的。當時覺得在戲裡就數這首歌最好聽,因此就抄了歌詞,抓了chord,然後練習了。很喜歡原唱的聲音。可惜的是,我的聲音就是無法模仿成那樣的聲音。:(

那段日子啊,超級迷東華帝君和鳳九的愛情故事。從「三生三世枕上書」追到「三生三世十里桃花」,一直被他們的故事深深吸引著。

很想、很想寫歌。不過,那天寫了兩句,又停下來了。寫不出歌,也沒有琴鍵可以給我摸索“靈感”。:(

現在只能聽別人的歌,還有畫畫,來安撫我的靈魂。

星期六, 11月 21, 2020

亂畫



因為上個週末有工作,於是選了這個星期三下午放假,來個休閒的半天。

這算是偷得浮生半日閑嗎?^^

這個下午,我錄了三個視頻。第一個是開箱視頻。怎麼弄、怎麼編輯,這開箱視頻都很差強人意。第二個錄影就是這個。錄製的時候,沒發現那個支架腳,輸入電腦後,才發現它⋯⋯覺得有點懊惱。不過,我的正式錄影手機支架留在工作室,也不曉得什麼時候可以回去那裡⋯⋯只好接受現有的設備了。

畫了大約半小時才完成,還真的很消耗我的耐心。

看了看時間,完成的時候,距離“放工”時間還有兩小時多,於是就拿出玻璃筆,練習英文圓體字。也把過程錄了下來。不過,那四線紙不適合用於鋼筆墨水,於是改用鉛筆繼續練習。因此,這支影片也不放上網了。

話說回來,就算把那開箱影片弄出來了,也不曉得要不要在現在的YT channel發。現在,我的YT channel,弄得好混亂。歌曲創作、cover、畫畫、翻翻樂,還來個開箱的話,還真的很混亂⋯⋯

十年日記



原本想等明年才開始寫這十年日記的。不過,我共買了三本十年日記,打算看著舊的日記本、照片、還是臉書的回憶紀錄,把過去日記的記憶點,慢慢寫下來。

原本的打算,是以decade來寫的,明年正好是下一個十年的開始。

後來又想,我該紀錄的是,自己的十年,不是根據那年曆的十年來寫,於是,這就變成了2018開始的十年日記了。

我想趁這幾本十年日記,好好的回顧我的過去。一些該declutter的回憶,就好好的告別,然後放下。舊的那些日記本,我想,我會把它們用碎紙機切碎。:)

旅程,啟航吧!

星期日, 11月 08, 2020

Inktober 2020 & 畫畫



今年的Inktober,我沒有什麼主題。原本是想要保持黑灰色系的圖畫,不過⋯⋯最後變成了多彩的畫。

其實,我比較喜歡去年的,每一幅畫,有自己的故事和歌曲。Inktober 2019

有幾幅畫,我是印在電腦螢幕畫出輪廓後,再加工的。對於比例和空間的設計,我一直都拿捏不穩。經過這樣的小偷步,那圖畫好像有提升了。那個兵馬俑、Totoro as buddy、芭蕾舞者音樂盒、Totoro chef和最後一張小baby的背影都是這樣來的。

11月,我選擇繼續畫畫,決定挑戰畫人物。之前在淘寶買了一本可以跟著畫的人物畫冊。



這是昨晚畫的。除了4䝞那天,傷風得太離譜了,早睡,每晚都堅持至少畫一頁。看到自己還真的有進步。不過,這是跟著畫,難說。因為都是模仿,而不是自己去設計、去畫。

陪我做手帳|星河。歌|時光小築



這次的「陪我做手帳」影片,我用了別人的音樂,而且不是Gymnopedie No 1。這是我在YouTube audio library裡找來的。

如常,我從手帳素材裡找靈感。選素材的時候,會想像和今天的心情有沒有應和,或者有沒有激起什麼念頭或故事。這天寫的,都是憋著很久的心情。我一直很想像在檳城那樣,住在高樓。不過,檳城住的地方比較偏僻,沒有什麼燈光。在這covid-19疫情之前,我就想著要搬去城裡,住在公寓裡,然後每晚可以欣賞城裡的燈火。拖了許久,然後疫情爆發,結果⋯⋯我回到了家鄉。我不介意一直宅在家裡,不過⋯⋯在家鄉,每天一定會要和父母互動,然後沒有私人空間,我以為⋯⋯我會瘋了。不過,一切似乎還好,就是沒有自己的空間,也沒什麼屬於自己的時間。父親很早起,母親不讓我遲睡⋯⋯話說回來,生活習慣也改變了不少,而且飲食都被照顧了。我還是要感恩吧。畢竟,這次在老家住,刷新了我對長時間得與人接觸的不舒適的感覺,這沒給我帶來很大的心理衝擊。不過,我就沒有再彈琴、寫歌了。反而更常地畫畫、寫字了。

不能說的秘密



我在《時光小築》寫了一個小故事。編了一個叫烏拉甘可依的森林,森林裡有棵很大很大的樹,樹身上有個秘密的洞,洞裏藏著這世界上知道那個秘密的人、物。那個人和記載著那個秘密的信件,永埋在那個樹洞裡,然後演變成一個小故事:不能說的秘密——樹洞裡的秘密



偶爾,我也會想要有片自己的烏拉甘可依森林。那森林裡可以守護著我的秘密,沒有別人可以抵達的森林。

Don't it make my brown eyes blue



我發現,有好幾個YouTube clips,我還沒好好寫章blog關於它們。也很久沒有寫什麼blog了。除了今天寫的,就是上個月底,在「三分鐘熱度」的部落格裡寫關於Virtual Machine的。好像寫了三十天的《山海經》相關的po文後,我就沒怎麼寫部落格了。連Inktober也只每天po在IG和微博而已。

這首歌,是在CMCO前編好及錄製的。昨夜YouTube推了張克帆的影片,看了幾支他的影片後,我就想把錄好的歌,修一下,然後放上網。那個時候,錄了兩首歌。一首是這個「Don't it make my brown eyes blue」,另一首是「繁花」。昨天給家人聽,他們都說不好聽,說我的歌都很沈悶的。明明「繁花」是一首浪漫的歌啊~:(

不過,今天決定弄「Don't it make my brown eyes blue」的影片,因為想起自己有張自己的右眼照片。找了2011年11月的文件夾,都找不到原照。對這張照片有印象,是因為曾經po過這張照片——回憶。我原本以為是用iPod拍的。後來搜了文件的名字,才發現是用一架lomo相機拍的。因此,找到了原照。開心~

弄這些cover影片,其實很麻煩。麻煩不是因為錄製或後製的關係,因為我懶,也沒什麼要求,所以這些還好。最煩的是,YouTube有一些自動化的程序來監視版權所有。這次的cover,卻被標上版權所有是一首叫Il Est Ne的歌。之前上傳的「不能說的秘密」也有版權所有的disclaimer,因此我也沒做什麼dispute,反正我這個channel都不掙錢的。如果版權的disclaimer是原主,那就照原主的意思吧。不過,如果這些disclaimer亂亂來,當然要糾正啦~我自己寫的歌也中過幾次,file了dispute,那些claimant都無作為,然後claims就被移除了。因此,我其實都比較喜歡用自己的作品。至少file dispute的時候,可以理直氣壯的寫原因。:P

話說回來,這是我小時候最最最最喜歡的歌之一。看我小時候聽的歌單,我還真的非常悲觀、憂鬱的。雖然說,這些老歌都是父親那裡傳來的,這首歌⋯⋯我相信他沒印象。他喜歡的歌,沒有像這些悲悲的歌。不過,卡帶裡偶爾會有一些其他歌曲,也不能確定整張專輯只有自己喜歡的歌,於是⋯⋯這些歌有機會來到我的世界。

雖然說,我們是黑眼睛、黑頭髮、黃皮膚,不過⋯⋯我覺得自己的眼睛不是全黑的,帶有褐色。嗯,就是這樣的自己對號入座。不過,我的情路,也沒怎麼坎坷。反正很短的時間裡就結束了,因此都沒有可以到像這首歌詞寫的心情。

今早搜了「Somewhere in my broken heart」,發現它的創作人和這首歌一樣,Richard Leigh。或許會找天搜這個人的創作吧。羨慕這些人的文字和思路,寫得好極了!

星期日, 10月 04, 2020

時光小築|整個九月



一個月又結束了。這時光小築,我可是一天都沒落下。我算了算,應該寫到十月中,就寫完了。雖然有Inktober,不過⋯⋯我覺得應該會有點空虛的。畢竟,連續三個月都“逼”自己寫點什麼。

我一直期待九月的結束。九月,真的太難過了。九月的daily challenge,看《山海經》,然後搜資料,寫寫關於當天選來的神仙還是神獸,的確很累人,尤其是當天需要到公司上班,回到家裡疲憊不堪的時候。因此,有幾天是開天窗的,不過,有把它給補回來,還是寫了卅篇。這《山海經》真難啃啊!

十月的daily challenge就是純粹的跟著Inktober每天畫畫。

今天突然想起Lara那首,「我沒有」。我沒有和誰許諾,不再讓別的手牽,不過,這麼多年來,也沒有讓誰牽我的手。最近在追看「盲約」。看見夏天在故事裡的工作,還有可以去約會的機會,很是羨慕。不過,我畢竟羨慕她的工作吧?我記得,以前在YouTube的第一支影片,是想把寫寫文章,變成念念自己的文章的。不過⋯⋯還真的很三分鐘熱度。那個過後,我一直都沒弄什麼影片,然後就弄了同學以前一起錄製的歌,弄了類似週年紀念影片。兩年後,才開始發表自己的創作⋯⋯然後就斷斷續續的在YouTube弄自己的歌曲創作影片。這一、兩年,有想過好好的做YouTuber的。不過,訂閱和點擊率一直都拉不上去,我也放棄了。也發現自己,似乎比較適合寫部落格。把YouTube當作收藏影片的平台,然後嵌入在自己的部落格裡,也不錯。至少,這些影片是自己控制的,不會在幾年後,突然被刪了,或者被列入私人影片。

「時光小築」算是一個過渡期,然後,我該開始寫歌詞了。:)

星期日, 9月 27, 2020

我巨大的悲傷



剛才不小心看到這支影片,我巨大的悲傷。

歌詞:

我有一個巨大的悲傷
安靜的躺在我的心上
平時它不聲不響 它仔細的觀察
別人的模樣 眼光 說話

我有一個巨大的悲傷
它吞食了我的能量
長得越來越巨大 到我無處躲藏
但它努力不露出自己的尾巴

它成為我的包裝
讓我看起來堅強
越是努力想偽裝
越是顯得它龐大

我的悲傷無處豢養
我並不想要這樣
如果它不小心弄傷你的臉龐
你願意接納他嗎

我的悲傷無處豢養
希望這不是幻想
如果現實圈套了它的頸項
至少我知道要怎麼愛它


就是想分想這支影片。

星期二, 9月 22, 2020

十年

剛看完《三生三世十里桃花》的劇版三生三世十里桃花 Eternal Love【各集幕後花絮-你不知道的事 Behind Scenes】CROTON MEDIA Official。我不曉得是不是就“放下”了。不過,今晚心情,適合寫部落格。

從手機把那天拍的幾張照片傳到電腦裡。就是幾天前,在新的本子試寫的照片。不過,我還捨不得用鋼筆⋯⋯呃,好吧,其實是因為懶惰,因此沒試用鋼筆和墨水。



這是大概兩個月前,從淘寶那裡淘回來的。十年的日記簿。打算讓它像臉書的那年今天,提醒我以前發生過什麼事情。



這些筆是我從Mr. DIY、Daiso、Popular、Jusco、網購等文具店或文具部那裡買回來的。那個Tombow是ET送我的。



寫完後,我驚訝的發現,只有Sharpie的會透去後頁!我估計,如果Miniso的brush pen也透的話,Tombo和Artline肯定會透!因此,我愛上了這個紙質!根據淘寶的介紹,這個的品牌是叫初品,紙張是無酸紙,沒聽過。哈哈~我買了三本⋯⋯哈哈!!!

我想,每本紀錄十年,然後把以前的也慢慢填上。只不過⋯⋯有點懶⋯⋯

同理心

好吧,這個時候,我還在看YouTube,還在平復心情?

剛才回家的時候,鄰居的車子就停在我家門口。我很火,晚上九點多了。我直按喇叭,許久後,又一直按放按放喇叭,又繼續按長喇叭。右邊鄰居終於出來了。我問,這是你的車?他竟然只說:“Sabar lar”。

你不對,還要讓我覺得自己無理了?實在太生氣了。當時,我心想,這個人太沒有同理心了!

我還在「時光小築」裡寫了這難堪的心情。

最討厭的是,我還反省自己⋯⋯然後,終於也找到自己的不對。晚上了,我這麼按喇叭,也吵到其他人啊!顯掉了。。。

不過,我還是真心的希望,這個人,會碰到同樣情景,家就在面前,可是回不去,而且超級尿急、屎急,然後別人只跟他說:“Sabar lar!”我也讓他按喇叭,就算把我從睡夢中叫醒。無妨。

星期日, 9月 20, 2020

花開。思考【時光小築】



今天終於在自己的“工作室”醒來。離開這裡有六個月了。近期,疫情有點反彈,我應該繼續待在老家的。不過,不知為什麼,開始有種喘不過氣的感覺。可能太久沒有好好的接觸外人,也沒有好好地跟自己相處。日子一久,就慢慢地迷失自己。公司也要求每個人,每天去公司上班。我還沒開始過自己的生活呢!

我報名參與了一個mentorship的program,不過⋯⋯我還真的不懂如何參與。弄得好像工作交差的樣子⋯⋯我還真的不懂要怎麼繼續。這才兩個星期。每個月一個小時的1:1。其他時間,我該怎麼做,還真的不知道。明天,也有一個和上司的1:1,有點懊惱。發現自己退步了,在社交方面。話說回來,社交,真的這麼重要嗎?不是說,有個三五七個還有就夠了,一個知己就夠了⋯⋯都好像不實際、不現實的說。

昨天剛看完《三生三世十里桃花》的連續劇,感覺自己的世界,停了下來,不過時間還是拼命的往前走。好無奈啊!

YouTube知道我看完這部戲,又開始推《微微一笑很傾城》了。上回重看這《微》和《我只喜歡你》第n回,也是因為YouTube推薦的。為了調整心情還有狀態,於是繼續追劇下去,不是個好辦法。小說版的,我也看到第六章,暫停在那裡。害怕繼續沈迷下去。不過,YouTube也不忘繼續推《三》的花絮影片⋯⋯我快瘋了。還有,那《山海經》的文章,也讓我有點力不從心。這《山海經》,真的很難讀⋯⋯唐七公子的小說,雖然說是有依《山海經》來做人物和故事安排,不過⋯⋯墨淵、白淺、夜華、白鳳九、東華帝君也好,我都沒在《山海經》裡找到啊~不過,這段日子,也給我自己惡補了不少上古的傳說,還有真的每日去翻看《山海經》。這點,還是不錯的。

剛才玩了一下電子琴,發現⋯⋯有兩條重要的cable忘了帶回來。錄音,就作罷了。還沒和我的吉他老友玩呢!

明早打算早去上班。不曉得路況如何。希望一切順利。

前天拍了一些照片,測試新本子,找個時間寫關於它。這本子,紙質真的很不錯!不是MD或巴川紙噢!

星期日, 9月 06, 2020

時光小築|整個八月



八月已經結束好幾天了。這影片,前天也上傳了。拖到今天才在這裡分享。

幾天前開始制水,很痛苦。好在今早,水源開始恢復了。剛才就好好地洗澡,還做了body scrub,好好享受洗白白的過程~爽!

八月裡,每天都在期待著八月的結束,然後就可以弄這支影片。結果八月結束後,卻沒有立刻弄影片。我這八月的期待,究竟是為了啥?:D

話說回來,覺得開始寫得詞窮了。那種詩的意境慢慢不見了。我其實有點懊惱的。不過,還是堅持每天都繼續拼貼、寫些什麼的。

我還真的容易分心。昨夜就這樣寫到一半,就放著了。哈哈~我記得了!因為覺得每天寫的東西漸漸失去詩的意境,於是就翻開來看。結果,就把這擱著了。不過,回讀的時候,卻覺得還好。

九月繼續加油。這本子應該可以寫到十月中。以為不會想要買像這樣的A6尺寸了,不過,如果用來這樣每天寫寫的,其實這個尺寸就還好。到時,距離明年還有兩個月半⋯⋯十月有Inktober,下半個月可以放鬆不寫。十一月和十二月,到時再看。

在Muji買了一本A5的monthly/weekly,決定明年用它做日常畫畫、紀錄,weekly basis。這是我目前為止,最貴的一本本子吧?五年、十年的日記本不算!繼續加油~

星期五, 9月 04, 2020

三生三世枕上書

已經追劇完畢有兩個星期了吧?不過,心裡還是念念不忘。

我記得以前看過這部小說的。追劇的當兒,卻不是很有印象,於是重看了小說。追劇完畢時,小說還沒追完,因此還沒有那種空虛的感覺。當小說也追完了之後,內心開始空虛了。開始看了幾部戲或連續劇,卻提不起勁兒去繼續看。我想,我會重看這部戲,不過⋯⋯不是現在。

之前追劇完畢,然後有重看的,包括了《微微一笑很傾城》、《我只喜歡你》、《衫衫來吃》。我也忘了先看電視劇,還是先看書,然後就網購了《我不喜歡這世界,我只喜歡你》。這本書,我也看了無數遍。我會不會買這本《三生三世枕上書》的實體書呢?我還不懂。不過,我真喜歡戲裡的音樂,百聽不厭。有衝動想買原聲CD。

迪麗熱巴把白鳳九的角色,演得太神了、太可愛了。東華帝君嘛⋯⋯剛開始時,我被他臉上塗粉不均勻,然後有掉粉的臉孔給分散注意力了,有點想抓狂的感覺。然後覺得,應該有更好看的東華帝君的。:P

不過,經過更多劇情和看見他和小九的互動後,慢慢釋懷了。也可能後面的妝畫得比較好了,或他們的互動把我的注意力給吸引回故事裡去吧?

不過,我有點後知後覺,已經過了青春期,還看這些甜蜜小伙子的戲,還真有點超齡。應該去看看《三生三世十里桃花》,去看看那自稱老身的白淺上神的故事吧。

星期日, 8月 30, 2020

世外。夢【時光小築】



今天弄《時光小築》時,錄了過程。其中,妹妹還給我打了個電話~

這次,用實時速度上傳這段影片。

有時候,真的會害怕詞窮、無點子寫啊~

蛋炒飯、飯炒蛋的反覆寫⋯⋯

Dull...

You come across two people laughing to the point of tears.
What so funny?
You ask.
Can you help them tell the story?
Use dialogue.
Try.


Alright, I have been procastinate for more than half an hour, and I can't think of anything funny. :(

After another half an hour: give up.

I can't help to wonder, if my life and imagination are so ... dull?!!

星期五, 8月 28, 2020

星期一傍晚的停車場



在YT看見別人的翻翻看畫冊,我想,已經有一個月多沒畫什麼了。那個半邊臉的不算。:D

想起星期一傍晚看見那美麗的景色,我想把它畫下來。

我急性子,沒耐性去好好學習繪畫、上色,於是技巧一直沒進步。給自己的藉口是,開心就好,反正又不是為了拿來送人或掙錢的。

不過,把它畫了出來,也讓自己覺得完成了一項目,有滿足感。

應該會再畫幾遍,這張照片~我喜歡那天的暮色,尤其是那雲朵~

星期二, 8月 25, 2020

七夕~



來得及弄個影片上傳,不錯。不過,今天就沒有上RHOSP課程。不要緊,明天再加油。

和母親說,今天就是七夕。她讓我去拜拜,求個姻緣。我說,一切隨緣吧,不要強求。她說,這只是求姻緣而已,不求就沒有。我想想,如果有另一半,有自己的家庭,可能我就不能像現在一樣,過著比較自我的生活了。想想都覺得有點怕怕。是想談個戀愛什麼的,不過⋯⋯有些事情,想想就夠了。

剛看完《三生三世枕上書》的連續劇。我的天,夠甜蜜、夠虐的了!其實,在YouTube斷斷續續的已經看了不少段片。今天算是追劇完畢。結尾有點倉促。反正會繼續看小說。印象中,我應該已經看過這部小說了,不過印象不深刻。唐七公子的小說,《四幕戲》為印象最深刻。可能這部小說,我是看實體版吧?!也曾在臉書分享裡頭的聶非非的信。說遠了。

這段錄影,是在我一面追劇,一面寫手帳的時候錄製的。很難得有個白天,不用工作,在家,電視是屬於我的~

希望每天都可以這樣,慢慢慢生活~

星期五, 8月 21, 2020

良緣



今天有點累(懶),於是就分享在「時光小築」上寫的故事吧。

很多時候,我是這樣開始寫的。心理浮現什麼字,就先寫下,再來打算要怎麼繼續。

開始的時候,還真沒有什麼“靈感”。寫了這兩句。

她背著陽光緩緩走來
手上握著一束⋯⋯


然後我就去搜了“海棠”、“香芋”,卻找不到那我心目中花的名字。結果,我就繼續工作。

後來,不知怎麼的,想到了“海芋”二字,搜了照片,確定是自己所想要的花。終於可以繼續寫了。

她背著陽光緩緩走來
手上握著一束海芋
猶如(仙娥還是仙女)從靈境走來


我還在糾結仙娥還是仙女的時候,手下寫出的是仙子。也罷~

她背著陽光緩緩走來
手上握著一束海芋
猶如仙子從靈境走來
我眯了眯眼
想把她瞧得仔細


寫到這裡,我還沒定位這個“我”是何人。

她背著陽光緩緩走來
手上握著一束海芋
猶如仙子從靈境走來
我眯了眯眼
想把她瞧得仔細
只見她停在我跟前
將海芋遞給我


呃⋯⋯她是花店的員工?有人送花給我?還是要怎麼寫下去?

她背著陽光緩緩走來
手上握著一束海芋
猶如仙子從靈境走來
我眯了眯眼
想把她瞧得仔細
只見她停在我跟前
將海芋遞給我
她說,這是你定的
是⋯⋯


男女之間的送花情節?還是⋯⋯

她背著陽光緩緩走來
手上握著一束海芋
猶如仙子從靈境走來
我眯了眯眼
想把她瞧得仔細
只見她停在我跟前
將海芋遞給我
她說,這是你定的
是道謝禮


呃⋯⋯為什麼道謝比較好呢?

她背著陽光緩緩走來
手上握著一束海芋
猶如仙子從靈境走來
我眯了眯眼
想把她瞧得仔細
只見她停在我跟前
將海芋遞給我
她說,這是你定的
是道謝禮
我只是順手幫了你們
牽個紅線


嗯,當紅娘或月老該不錯吧!

她背著陽光緩緩走來
手上握著一束海芋
猶如仙子從靈境走來
我眯了眯眼
想把她瞧得仔細
只見她停在我跟前
將海芋遞給我
她說,這是你定的
是道謝禮
我只是順手幫了你們
牽個紅線
本是己責
不過這海芋⋯⋯


要怎麼結尾呢?

她背著陽光緩緩走來
手上握著一束海芋
猶如仙子從靈境走來
我眯了眯眼
想把她瞧得仔細
只見她停在我跟前
將海芋遞給我
她說,這是你定的
是道謝禮
我只是順手幫了你們
牽個紅線
本是己責
不過這海芋⋯⋯和仙子
我就勉為其難收下吧


這個點子不錯!你認為呢?:D

星期四, 8月 20, 2020

粉紅泡沫

昨夜臨睡前
突發奇想
今天要在「時光小築」弄篇關於粉紅泡沫的小品文
不過,弄好拼貼後才想起
於是,就轉移陣地,在這裡寫吧


我看見天上的雲暈染了晚霞的顏色
平日蔚藍的天空,竟變成了粉色的湖
雲朵變成了湖上的小島
偶爾幾隻飛鳥繞過
並未泛起漣漪
你的影子
若隱若現
隨機在小島上出現
我的目光隨之移動
弄得我有點頭暈
誠然你出現的地方
總會把我的注意力帶走
我羨仙不羨鴛鴦
只緣身不在其中


星期三, 8月 19, 2020

你走了
留下了落葉一地的秋季
要在這樣蕭瑟的景色下送你離開
的確有點揪心
你忽略我的不捨
我忽略你的無情
這麼一來
彼此都好過
下個秋天來臨之前


忘了你

星期二, 8月 18, 2020

After human migrated out of the Earth

Imagine the busiest city street.
What would it look like 100 years after the last human was there?
Describe it for us.


The scientists found a new planet which better suit "human's need" compared to the Earth. A lot of people migrated to the new planet.

In front of the KLCC, Jalan Ampang slowly got rid of the traffics and ... human activities. And then, no more people come to visit or take photo. KLCC is left empty. No more maintenance, and the whole KL city is abandoned. Abandoned by human.

Some other creatures started to take over the city. The city now looks more greenery compared to hundred years ago. There are even more bugs live in KL now. The dragonflies, and even the fireflies can be seen in the city.

There is no more dogs wearing T-shirt on the street. The dogs that loitering around seems to be evolved to be bigger in size and stronger. I can't find any poodle on the street.

The sky scrappers are now covered with greeneries too. The forest of steel (鋼骨森林?) is now indeed back to the real forest condition.

Birds chirp could be heard clearly. No more honks and the sound from the engines.

Everything is so natural, so back to nature.

Human found new life in new planet. And the Earth has found a new life too.

美麗早晨

那是在一個風和日麗的上午
太陽還很溫和的給予大地蓋上溫暖的被
驅走昨夜風雨留下的寒冷
她背著陽光向我走來
我一時分不清
那是夢幻還是現實的美麗剪影
最後停頓在我腦海裡的畫面
是放大了的她的笑臉
還有一股清香的香水味
和小鹿亂撞的心情
那是今天的第n場邂逅了?
不過,沒有一個她停下腳步
與我一起享受這美麗的早晨。

星期一, 8月 17, 2020

不知覺的壓力

有時候,你如常的生活
日子一天一天的過
明明,都不覺得有什麼特別的起伏
明明,一切都還好
不過,身子就開始反應了
你,措手不及
是身體哪個部分有問題了嗎?
你開始擔心了
靜了下來發現
心跳好像有點不規律
對了,這幾天都夢到工作的場景
昨天,其實和同事過了幾招
你生氣了,不過因為追劇而忽略了
上個星期才讓自己氣得發抖,沒人知道
但你很快就回覆,很快就恢復了
你以為這些小事,都只是小事
你以為不在意了,卻在夢裏繼續了
你想了辦法
要怎麼才能做到無動於衷
弄了本手帳,叫做「情緒管理」
決定把已發生的、沒發生
會干擾情緒的事與物
都寫出來
在平靜的時候
找出最佳的反應
嗯,還有,不要再熬夜了。
晚安。

星期六, 8月 15, 2020

Ice-cream eating competition

You're at a fancy party.
For some reason, you have a really big ice-cream cone.
It's really hot out.
You have no choice but to finish it.
Comedy ensues.


I haven't decided which day in a week to continue this 20 minutes practice. But, I'll figure it out later. This is for this week.

My friend got an invitation to Häagen-Dazs party. We were told that we can eat all we want at the party. As an ice-cream lover, I could not waste this chance. So, I tagged along with him.

As we enjoy the atmosphere and food at the party, we and some other participants were called to go up stage. Later, we only found out that, it's a competition, who ever win the competition, will get a life-time Häagen-Dazs free ice-cream!

Each of us was given a really big ice-cream cone. We were given 10 minutes to fill up the ice-cream that we want. I took a scope for each flavour. When time's up, I managed to get my last flavour of ice-cream. I looked at other participants, and found out they got more ice-cream! They looked at mine, and laughed.

The organizer weighed our ice-cream, and then announced, we need to finish the ice-cream within the minutes per 100g based on the weight, together with the cone. I only got 2.5 minutes to complete. Another disadvantage for me! I guess there's no chance for me to win the contest. I took my time to enjoy the ice-cream.

The remaining was weighed again and I could continue to eat.

There are some contestants able to finish their ice-cream. My friend finished it as well! Bravo!

When the organizer announced the winner, we were surprised. I was the winner! The rule to win was, whoever ate the least ice-cream, win!

I won one-year free Häagen-Dazs! Yes!

As I was on stage to get my privilege card, the company CEO said. "I was thinking to set the rule whoever took the most ice-cream flavour win. I think that was very obvious at the beginning, only you took all flavours. So, I changed the rule, and can't believe that, it'd be you too! You deserved this! So, you'll now eat more ice-cream through out the year!"

Everyone laughed and applaused. :D

星期六, 8月 08, 2020

生悶氣



要放工的時候,碰見了讓我火大的事。不過,就是件小時。一開始的時候,還真的超級想爆發。天才。當向AT發牢騷時,我用這句來形容那個人。

接下來,重新登入我的VM,重新做了一些收尾,再發報告。既然別人都沒有想要team spirit,我何必自討沒趣的顧及別人的成績,硬要把bug當成improvement呢?

剛才想要重錄的時候,狗又吠了。拜託,真不想睡嗎?當時都快十二點了。

於是,就大概弄了些照片,成了今天的影片。

感覺,用這樣的方式來發洩情緒,還真不錯。聽聽自己的聲音,如果當時也可以用這樣平靜的心去面對,然後好好的做好本分,何必自傷肝脾?

星期四, 8月 06, 2020

My class

You're in a classroom, there to learn something new.
Your instructor walks in.
Wait.
This isn't right.
Are you in the wrong place?
Tell us what happens.


After the 31 days challenge, this should be continue as weekly activity again. I almost forgot and failed to plan in my weekly planner. Anyway, let's resume.

Coincidently, I dreamed went to a drawing class, ended up there was a stage orchestra performance in the class. I can "use" this dream setup for this writing prompt. :D


I was late for the class. Where I got to the classroom, there's an orchestra performing in front of the class. It is a temporary stage setup in front of the class.

I am sure I was in the right classroom, and it's not the first class. There's only one of my classmate continued to do painting, the rest were enjoying the performance. I went to my seat, and looked around.

After a while, the instructor came. The orchestra stopped playing and came down from the stage. I then only realized, there were a lot of brochures and leaflets on the table. It was a preparation for a play this weekend by this school. We are wanted to help out to draw and paint big poster for the event.

I was like, "huh?" I paid to learn painting... But alas, it's for charity. We were somehow unknowingly, willingly, forced to join in the charity event. :P

This took me a long day to construct the story. :|

星期三, 8月 05, 2020

時光小築|納西瑟斯



我想弄這樣的影片,很久了。不過,一直沒有契機。

今天,想到星期一去公司上班,聽了一路陳綺貞的「讓我想一想」。當時有一種⋯⋯靈感?很想寫些什麼的。不過,當時開車,無法把一些念頭轉化文字,結果就一直鬱悶-ing。

我在谷歌搜關於她的專輯時,在魔鏡歌詞網看到「他唱起歌來了」有(提供)的連接。原來這首歌還沒有上傳歌詞,因此去YouTube找來聽。結果,就得知她的demo 3是以聲音念出文字的形式發行的。我好喜歡。我也可以這樣弄啊!

剛才,因為做完了今天的功課,於是就彈彈吉他,緊接著錄了一個opening和ending的吉他聲。接下來,一鼓作氣的錄了自己念在時光小築裡寫的小品文。一度想放棄,因為鄰居的狗一直鬧個不停。

幸好,突然給了我一分鐘的寧靜。這才把「納西瑟斯」錄好的。開始了小行動,終於“完成”了第一次。以前一直認為需要弄一段好聽的背景音樂,才可以弄好這樣的影片。不過,這樣開場與結束的形式也不錯。給自己一個讚!繼續加油吧。

星期日, 8月 02, 2020

第二個月的daily challenge:20 minutes writing

堅持一個月了,終於完成了。每天抽出時間寫短文。

之前的目標,是每個星期一次的。結果到WW26的時候,有七個星期沒寫。根據這個數據,以為不能堅持一個月的。不過,卻堅持下來了。

也是的,六月的時候,每天畫畫弄視頻都堅持下來了,這個比較簡單的,怎麼可能無法完成呢?

接下來,第三個daily challenge,原想把「三分鐘熱度」的頻道弄起來的。不過,似乎困難重重。我給八月的主要任務是學習及分享technical term,寫部落格也可以,未必是上傳影片的。於是,開始了八月的IT terminology了。

八月的daily challenge就在我的KDB blog裡,換了個名字,叫做「三分鐘熱度」。和我的新頻道呼應的。

總而言之,覺得有了這daily challenge,覺得很有意思。Productivity也增加了。

我每日也保持著寫寫東西。那個,想在個人YT頻道分享。

也每天在photo blog裡分享在動物園看到的小動物。哈哈~就是白血公主還有冰島旅行的文章沒有在進行中。得好好檢討一下~

星期五, 7月 31, 2020

Miracle makes way

Rewrite an hour of your day.
But add an accident, magic, a storm, a strange encounter.
Or hey, add all of the above.


I was on my way back from office. The traffic was as bad as usual. The car behind me honked.

"Just fly over, if you can." I challenged him as he could hear this.

Suddenly, there's a siren started from behind.

"What?! An ambulance? How could it get through all these cars?!" I was worried. I looked at my rear mirror. Somehow, the cars behind were just seems like being squeezed and made way for the ambulance!

As the ambulance came nearby, my car still stuck and there's no way for me to move my car without bump to the next car. And the ambulance was approaching in great speed!

Out of sudden, I just felt .... "compressed"! Yes! That's the word that I could describe that feeling! And I just see the ambulance passed by, then things got back to normal, as nothing's happened.

Was I the only one saw it, and felt it? Did the driver behind also see the same thing?

I can't see the facial expression of the driver. However, he no longer honk. I guess he was shocked as me.

God bless the patient in the ambulance.

As expected, I reached home 2 hours later. :(

星期四, 7月 30, 2020

My partner, Frank

You are at the circus.
There's a noice, a bang.
The animals have all gotten loose.
Somehow, you end up the hero of this story.
Tell us.


I saw people running out. I am not sure what happened. A big noise is coming from front. I am sitting at the second last row on the right. That is the cheapest ticket I could afford. I missed Frank. I must see him today.

Suddenly, I heard a roar of rage.

"Frank?"

As the people running out, I was trying to make my way to the front. Then, I saw there are a lot of animals on the circus stage! The roar was from Frank!

All the animals were out of control. They were running everywhere. None of the beast trainers could calm them down.

Frank was keep roaring and encourage the animals to continue the chaos. Yes, Frank, my wild big cat!

"Frank!" I yelled.

He roared in joy, and running towards me. This scared more people, and everyone tried to ran away to save their lives.

Frank pounced on me and licked my face.

"Oh, Frank! I am sorry. I missed you so much!" I hugged him in return.

Suddenly, all other animals started to calm down, and came surround us.

I was one of the circus beast trainers. Frank was my best partner. I was fired after I crippled due to an accident.

I am glad that we reunion again.

星期三, 7月 29, 2020

I am already 40-year old, so what?!

Think of a conversation that you regretted. Perhaps you were unkind, or perhaps you missed the perfect zinger comeback. Rewrite it as you wish it happened. Then let it go. I have stuck in couple of hours with this. I can't recall any conversation... Let me flip through my dream log, if I can find any cue to write. hmm.... I dreamed about a younger fella interested in me, and I told him I am already over 40 years old. :D S: Hey, would you like to go for a tea with me? J: Yeah, why not? S: Let's go now. We went to The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, ordered our drink and sat down at one of the corner. S: I share the same intereset with you. I love to journal too. Probably we could do journaling together, or share our journals with each other? J: Hmm... don't you think that's too personal? S: That could be a good way for us to know each other better. I saw you shared some journal photos in your IG. J: True... (If you have any plan for a romantic relationship with me... I am already 40 years old.) J: Let's do this regularly. (I put on a smile) S: That's great! Dream finished. :D

星期二, 7月 28, 2020

The unnoticed special ones

Think of a person in second.
The second man on the moon.
The second runner in the race.
Tell us about them.
Tell us their story.


He was the second child of the family. He has a elder brother and younger sister. The family put high hopes on the big brother, and pour their best love to the small sister. Everything and everyone is just seemed right, except for him.

He didn't get the attention from the family, so he thought he could get it in school. He has a quite good result, but just someone would be better than him. In sports, he would be in the consideration as the alternate player list, but not the first choice to go into the field. He will always be neither the real player, or the actual audience in the field.

He started to develop his own observation skill. He could tell which one in the class is the eldest, and which is the youngest in the family, and which is the only child in the family. To his surprise, there are only very few like him, as middle child. He considered them, including him, the unnoticed special average ones.

Today, he is celebrating the born of one of the unnoticed special average ones' birthday. No one was with him. He was alone, but not lonely. As, he is the special one.

星期一, 7月 27, 2020

My dream room

You're in a room that is filled with things you've always wanted.
Tell us about the room and everything within it.


When I was a kid, I have always imagined there's a big cave behind my bedside. It contains all kinds of food that I love, and I could sneak to there to eat the food that I want. Since I have grown up, I wish this room would have a superb chef with all the food and ingredients ready. I could order the chef to cook whatever I want, and ate at a elegant marble dining table. I must mention this is a robotic chef, as I don't want to share this place with someone I don't know.

Near the windowsill, there's a corner for me to relax. All sort of books are nearby. I get to pick what I want to read, be a novel, a self-improvement, or technical books.

There's another windows, where I have this big height-adjustable table. I got all the stationeries that I love and want on the table, or in the storage boxes, or drawers. All my notebooks and journal books are well kept there.

On one of the wall, there's a big world map, where I put flags on the places I have visited.

Oh! I also want a wardrobe of Chinese traditional clothing. And all sorts of musical instruments.

I can't think of more now. Till then. :D

星期日, 7月 26, 2020

Why I revenge!

You jump in a lake.
Or an ocean.
Or a deep river.
You find you can breathe underwater.
What happen next?


I was pushed from the ship. I am sure it was not an accident. It was too quick for me to even scream, then I was already in the water. I was scared and wanted to get up to the surface to breathe.

But for I could react, I felt something on my skin. I realized I could open my eyes and see clearly under the deep blue sea! My skin! It's like, I was breathing through my skin! No! It's not feel like! It's doing the breathing! I don't feel suffocate or dizzy under the water!

I found out could swim faster than the ship. I decided to swam to our destination, Port Swettenham, and waited at the port there.

I tried to recall what happened on the ship. We were playing hide-and-seek. My cousin, Mary, was the only one with me, looking for a spot to hide together. The only one could have pushed me must be her! I don't know why she would want to do that, but she is going to get a payback!

Finally the ship has reached the port. My cousins were shocked when they saw me. My mum rushed to me in tears. "Where have you been! We couldn't find you anywhere!"

"Oh, I was playing hide-and-seek with cousins. I win! They didn't find me!" I gave a revengeful look to my cousin. "Next time, it will be my turn to SEEK for them."

What couldn't kill me makes me stronger. I said to myself.

星期六, 7月 25, 2020

Love comedy

Someone hands you a note and asks you to delivery it.
It's important, they said.
You have an hour.
Everything that could go wrong does.
This is a comedy.


I was enjoying my clam chowder in a restaurant. While I was sipping my third spoon of the soup, a handsome guy pulled out the chair and sit next to me.

"I need your help." He spoke softly. "Can you help me to pass this note to the lady over there? The one wearing white blouse and blue skirt sit near the windows."

"Huh?" I was disturbed. "What is this note?"

"Love letter." He whispered.

"What? Love letter?!" I exclaimed anxiously.

"Shhhh....."

"OK, but why for her?" I asked. "She is not pretty."

"She is my apple." He gently said this with smile in his eyes.

"Fine! You are going to pay for my bill!"

"Deal! Please be fast, she will be leaving in an hour. I want to know her response to it."

"Alright..."

I stood up and walked towards her. Then I heard sipping sound behind. I turned back and saw him starting to drink my soup!

"Hey! Why you eat my soup!"

"Because I am going to pay for it..."

"But, you are going to pay for me because I am helping you to deliver love message!"

"Well... you didn't say I cannot eat your soup..." He muttered. "Please.. please go and delivery the note. I beg you."

I was still angry about it. "A handsome guy, came to me, eat my soup, and I gotta delivery his love message to someone else!" I murmured.

"Please... I... I'll buy you another soup!"

"Alright!" I called for waitress, and ask for another soup. "Please bill all expenses to this gentleman." I reminded the waitress.

As I went over to the lady, another waitress bumped into me with two glasses of wine in his hand. My white dress was stained.

"Oh gosh! What a day!" I quickly ran to the washroom, and tried to clean my dress.

I heard a knock at the door. "What?!"

It's the handsome guy again.

"What?! What do you want?!"

"Please.... go and delivery my note first. She is leaving soon."

"But my dress!"

"I'll pay for that."

I sighed and go out from the washroom, and walked towards the lady again.

"Hey, there's someone who ask me to send..." Where is the note?

"Yes? Send what?"

"Have you seen the note?"

"What note?"

"There was a note in pink paper... where is it?"

"Pink paper?"

"Yes!" I tried to recall what happened. "Oh! It must be at the washroom, let me go and get it. Please wait!"

I rushed to the washroom, but see no paper there. "Would it be dropped when the waitress bumped to me?"

I rushed back to the dining hall, but I can't find it.

That handsome guy walked towards me with a sad face.

"I'm sorry, I dropped the note. I am not sure where I dropped it..."

"It's ok. I don't need her response already." He sadly looking at her.

That lady was holding close by another man.

"Here's the note." He handed the paper to me. "I don't need that anymore..."

"I am sorry... but, can it be written for me?" I asked in joy.

He looked at me, and suddenly I saw a spark in his eyes. "Yes! Why not?!"

Then we kissed. :D

星期五, 7月 24, 2020

He came from Bermuda Triangle

Think of a teacher you had, or have.
Write about them.
Give them a secret.
Perhaps a superpower, a crime that they got away with, a love they cannot share.


看到這個題目,我想到林奕含的「房思琪的初恋乐园」。我只看過別人的介紹,並沒有看過這本書⋯⋯Anyway...繼續~

He was my Science teacher, when I was in secondary school. He opened up my world, and told me a lot about different places in this world. He told me about the Bermuda Triangle, also known as the Devil's Triangle.

He said, the compass variations and extreme weather are the two best "natural disguises" that keep people away from it.

"Did you ever go there?" I couldn't help myself one day, and ask this. He could describe every details of the place. Like what kind of animal you could find there. What kind of weather you might encounter there, and what could you do. What is there deep down the sea. How the megalodons could survive there...

He looked at me and hesitated a while. "I came from there. It is my home town. I just can never go back there..."

He looked out from the windows, as he could see through the skies and reached to his home town.

I am not sure if he lied, or I dreamed this scene. But he never talk about Bermuda Triangle anymore, as he never told me any of the details that happened there.

He left the school year end, and no one ever see him again.

星期四, 7月 23, 2020

A regretted life event

Think of a key moment in your life.
A celebration, a scene, an event, a pivotal memory.
Describe for us, in great detail, where it all unfolded.


It was my sophomore. Finally, it's time to go for the physical test and interview to join the reserved navy. I remember another friend and I went for it. She probably didn't go, or failed the physical test, I can't recall. She was not with me during the senior briefing. At the end, she joined the reserved army.

I remember there was a 10 km run. I manage to complete it within the required time. There was around 5 female candidates successfully made it. I was one of them.

Later, there was a female senior came over and talked to us. She congratulated us, and said there will be only one of us will be selected. It opportunity is so precious, that she hoped only the one that is determined to join the navy to proceed for the following interview.

I hesitated after heard her advice. I know I am determined to join the navy, but I can't be sure if I would be committed for the course of 3 years. It is a tough decision for me then.

I was active in a lot of other activities as well. Signing up for this, indicates that I could never tried any other activities like I was doing then. I could think of what would be the future like. I want to be independent and be discipline, in the mean time, it was the first time I am far away from home, and I got the freedom to do whatever I want. I was in dilemma.

Finally, I decided to walk away. I did not wait until the interview session, which was scheduled 2 hours later.

I regretted it, by the way.

星期三, 7月 22, 2020

Get prepared for my wedding

You wake up one morning in the wrong place.
The wrong home, or city, or country, or planet.
You need to get home.
Fast.
What happens next?


It's my wedding today. But I am not sure where I am now. I woke up in this old-fashioned wooden house at no where.

Outside of the house, there's only a small path leading to the woods.

"What happened? Is this just a dream? I am late for a make up and hair do for my wedding!" I muttered myself.

Oh wait?! Is this the kind of lucid dream that they talked about?!

Alright, let's see what kind of adventure that I will meet here.

I saw there're some bread on the dining table, and a cup of hot coffee. That's what I need for breakfast! I grabbed the bread with my left hand, and the coffee with my right hand, and here we go, to the adventurous journey!

I took bite by bite the bread slowly, and sipped the coffee in between, while walking on the path. I can feel the morning summer breeze, warm and welcoming. There were some rabbits running on the path, making their way to the woods too.

Is this some kind of "Alice in Wonderland?" I followed them. I was fascinated with the trees and flowers in the wood! There are a lot of little white flowers. It's feels like the galaxy in the greens. Look at the big champagne roses there!

"JJ! JJ! Wake up!" I heard some voices. It's coming from everywhere.

"Wake up! You are going to be late for your wedding!"

What? I rubbed my eyes and found out I am still at bed. My sister pulled away my blanket and tried to wake me up. Alas! I haven't picked up that beautiful roses for my wedding!

星期二, 7月 21, 2020

2020心情雜記最終篇



我的「2020心情雜記」,終於“寫”完了。並沒有成為去年設定的模樣。我以為,會把它弄成一本繪本的。不敢說要像幾米出版的那些繪本⋯⋯至少,也要像本繪本。

也可能因為有這樣的設想,因此一月才弄了個八、九頁。到了MCO前,也弄了十多張、廿多張而已。心想,這可能像是第一本“繪本”那樣,會跨年的用了。

MCO首兩個星期,也沒什麼進展,一直到⋯⋯四月,加上看了大量的IG分享,我開始瘋狂的塗鴉了。

我也開始拿出貼紙,跟著畫,當作練習還是打發時間什麼的。

上個星期,終於“完成”了。之前盤算著,會用TN本子作為新的繪本。不過,因為在這期間買了不少手帳周邊產品,還有一本A6一日一頁的本子,加上看見網上的手帳兒做的拼貼,我也想嘗試這樣。於是,新的一本手帳開始了,卻不是為了替代這「2020心情雜記」的。等想畫畫、塗鴉的時候,應該會開始動那本TN本子吧?至今還未給它的封面進行佈置還有取名呢!

話說回來,這是在我家外面的石桌上拍攝的。光線充足,真好。沒有什麼影子。從第一個「2020心情雜記」視頻的翻翻看後,接下來的翻翻看。

看了影片的時間長短,和現有的音樂音頻的長短,選了這首「憶」。這次,那什麼東東的公司不再發copyright claim了。不曉得是系統變聰明了,還是什麼原因,這次挺順利的。要不然,我就繼續dispute claim!

接下來的影片,已經有好一些idea了,看看什麼時候踏出下一步。:)

I am a mother now, but you are yet to be a father

It's not you, it's me.
Have this conversation.
About work, love, friendship.
The art of letting a person down easy.
Because it is an art.
Talk it out.


It's hard to believe that, this has come to an end.
You have been working day and night to earn money to support our family.
Even weekend, you don't have time for kids to spend some quality moments.
You need to prepare for work.
You are either somewhere out there, or in the study room, but not anywhere else in the house.
Yes, you are busy with anything and anyone else, but not me and the kids.
I threw tantrum at you or kids, it didn't change anything.
Anyway...
Yes, it's not you, but me, who changed after give birth to the twins.
I become more and more sensitive.
I tried to ignore the fragrance on your shirt from other woman.
I tried to ignore the fact, you were not working, but flirting with other woman.
You were tensed with my behaviour.
You were tensed with raising up two kids at the same time.
You just forgot you loved me...
And it's me who made you becoming a non-loving husband, non-loving father.
Well, glad that you finally say it out, let's get divorced.
No, no, don't worry.
It's not you, it's me, who changed.
I am a mother now, but you are yet to be a father.

星期一, 7月 20, 2020

5 years later

Describe you in five years.
Be generous, kind, loving to future you.
Don't change too much.
You must still be you.


I still not achieving 100K subscribers on my YouTube channel. At least, I have around 10K on my second YouTube channel. I can "officially" announce that, I am a YouTuber.

It was difficult for me to decide to work on a second channel. For the past twenty years, I didn't make it to have my blog "well-known", or at lease achieving thousands view a day. My blogs and YouTube channels were too niche, and it's mainly focus on my own thoughts and creations. But alas, I am not an artist.

I finally got my first USD100 payout from Adsense. It was kept at less than one dollar for years. That's something worth to celebrate.

I am also now a RedHat certified architect, and a certified pen-tester. This is at plan, which I started five years ago. I didn't switch to another company, as this company provide the oppportunities to my life-long learning, and I enjoy the work here.

I am still single, and living alone. I moved to the city couple of years ago. I enjoy seeing the high rise and lights at night at my balcony, sipping nice Chinese tea.

I still wrtie songs, and the main audience is myself. I completed another 5-year diary.

Oh yeah! I can speak Japanese now, and managed to pass the N3 exam. I am starting to pick up French again.

I managed to build good morning and night routines. I sleep early, and wake up early nowadays. I manage to turn my excessive energy to something useful now. It's nice to realize that it would be helpful, rather than just be noticed as hyperactive, racing thoughts and aggressive.

Life has been so good so far. I can't ask for more.

星期日, 7月 19, 2020

情感傷害

今天在YouTube看到Psych2Go關於情感傷害的影片。有些人會覺得這些是小題大做。上一輩的說,我小時候也是經過長輩或長兄的打罵走來的,還不是好好的?你們太脆弱了。

看到樓下的留言,選了兩個有這同樣的想法的。






我想,和上一輩來做比較,還是有區別的。他們在打罵中長大,不過父母也沒怎麼管教,放任養的。我們這輩,除了打罵以外,還要背負他們的夢想、理想繼續過我們的生活。這麼看來,到底誰比較脆弱,有待商討。

很多人都忽略這種情感傷害。有的是因為已經麻木了,反正no one cares,日子還不是一天天的過?有的是因為反應了,沒有得到需要的幫助,反而收到更大的傷害,還有反應出來的理由嗎?

更可怕的是,施下這些情感傷害的人,往往就是最親近的人。你懂得如何用傷害力最強的話語來對親近的人說,而親近的人最多只是痛苦,不會離開你。然後,惡性循環著。你儘管用你的方式傷害我,我用我的方式讓你痛苦,知道一方筋疲力盡為止。

如果可以,顧及對方的感受,在一方受到感情傷害的時候,停下來聆聽或給一個擁抱。就能破除這不必要的惡性循環了。你說呢?

我懂⋯⋯嗯,我真懂。

別一直說「放下」就好了。就像上次的分享那樣,在胸口捅了一刀,然後對胸口說別流血的道理,是一樣的。

Food maniac

Today is your reunion.
Family? School? You and a former flame.
It unfolds *exactly* as you dreamed it would be.
Write the scene for us.


Well, at this point of my life, I am not keen with reunion. Reunion could mean remembering the happy moments, it's also could mean remembering the not-so-happy or sad moments. But alas, I am not able to reject Anthony's invitation to meet our old friends.

Before I thought I would drown with the previous precious moment, I just realized that everyone was bringing their spouse and kids. Alright, it seems I am the only one who still single. And yes, that's the other reason why I didn't want to attend for the reunion.

Everyone was talking about their family life, how are their kids doing. Somehow, I feel relieved that no one "noticed" me. We were just said "hi", then they continued with their topic. I tried to keep low profile, and stayed near the food counter, where I could eat as much as I like.

The food was so tasty. I just suddenly lost focus on their talking and fed my taste buds with all sort of food like a food maniac. There were steamed scallops with hot and sour sauce, butter crab, prawns, spring rolls, cakes, fried chicken, all kinds of meat balls, desserts, and I can't remember what else did I eat. I had been not enjoying a big group of gathering for very very long time!

At the end of the day, our class lead got everyone gathered and proposed the last toast of the day. Everyone went home happily, especially me, I think. :)

星期六, 7月 18, 2020

Late...

Rewrite an hour of your day.
But add an accident, magic, a storm, a strange encounter.
Or hey, add all of the above.


I was supposed to wake up at 5, but I didin't. It was a scheduled down time that I promised with client to fix the web application issue and restart.

I didn't know why. The alarm from my handphone, and the linked wrist band that would buzz me to wake me up didn't work. I was kept in dreams as there's no interruption at all.

The dream was so real, that I thought I was living in real life. I have a family of my own, with 2 kids. My husband and I brought our kids to the zoo. We were at the aquarium. My kids love the whale shark so much, that they didn't want to leave aquarium. They are chasing after the fish, from one end to the other end, and from the other end back to here. I was amused by their behaviour.

I remember... I did that too, as a kid, with my sister. I wonder if my mum was amused by us.

Suddenly, I heard phone ring. I jumped out from bed, and realized it's already 6:00 am! I was called by the Support team!

Gosh! There are 10 missed calls record on my phone! What happened! What would happened to my year end bonus?!

星期五, 7月 17, 2020

Toilet paper story

Invent a person who is deeply passionate about something very ordinary. Say: Ants, keys, toilets, apples, grass. Bring their passion to live for us. Anne is a toilet paper lover. She collects a lot of toilet paper. There was once, she went to visit her friend in New Zealand. While they were doing some groceries shopping, she saw a coloured and with cartoon's picture toilet paper! "Oh my god! I must get this!" "Are you sure? You are going to bring back to Malaysia?" "Yes! Why not?!" That's one of the little stories of her and the toilet papers. She also used the toilet paper to make creative works, like paper rose, and some abstract art work. She also used toilet paper to do drawing and caligraphy! She even has a room to store and showcase the toilet papers, and the art work that she did with toilet papers. Some of the toilet papers she got them when she is abroad. Some, she bought online. Whenever she go to the supermarket, toilet paper is the one never missed section that she would visit. I can't really describe, how passionate she is with the toilet papers! 呃⋯⋯那去紐西蘭買廁紙的故事,是真的。那四卷廁紙還在呢!但,我沒有鍾情於廁紙啦~

星期四, 7月 16, 2020

My secret

You arrived at a celebration.
A marriage? A baby shower? A birthday party?
You have a secret to reveal.
And not much time to reveal it.
What happens next?


Well, it was my niece baby shower. I was happy for my brother. However, I really need a break. My flight is about 3 hours away. I really need to leave. I haven't got a chance to tell my family.

I kept looking at my watch. The baby shower would start only another 30 minutes. My taxi would be here anytime.

"Hey, go help your sister to..." Before my mum could finished her words, my taxi reached. The taxi driver called.

I quickly picked up the phone and answered "Coming now..."

“What's going on?"

"Mum, I'll tell you when you reach airport, I gotta go now."

I ran to my sister in law and wished her, kissed the baby, took my luggage out from my room and bid farewell to everyone.

I still couldn't speak out that I just broke up with my boyfriend. I am so heart-broken that I need a getaway to hide myself and be with myself.

星期三, 7月 15, 2020

Sharing ikigai, or not.

Pick two versions of yourself.
Your public self v. your private self.
Or, your kind self v. your unkind self.
Your critical self v. your self-love self.
Write a conversation between them.
You v. you, sorting it out.


This is tough to write down. I normally have a lot of conversations within myself, consciously or unconsciously. I didn't differentiate which self were those.

Let jj as the public self of mine, and xz as the private self of mine.

jj : Let's talk about ikigai. I want to share this topic on YouTube or somewhere.
xz : But, I am not sure if I have identified my ikigai...
jj : Well, we have discussed this so many times already. jj : We are doing what we love, and probably good at (we'll keep improving), and we are paid! If it is not needed, we are not going to get paid.
xz : I know, but I can't relate what our job now with the world's need.
jj : You think too much. Or we rather thought the world's need are something like... saving-the-world-level great ambitious job.
xz : Yes, but...
jj : No but. There's no use to dwell deep inside if we "save" the world.
jj : We are doing something that the world need.
jj : Like a little screw, you don't see what it can do by looking at the screw itself.
xz : Yes, I know. But, how do we share this with others, while we can't clearly define ourselves at "doing something contributing to the world's need"?
jj : Alright, you got a point. Can't we just...
xz : Just say, we are paid, that's why there's someone need?
jj : Yeah... Errr... Why not?
xz : I just don't feel comfortable.
jj : Well, ok, we can just don't share this... but, this might be something the world's need?
xz : You got a point there. But, sharing this, we are not paid...
jj : (Sigh) So, what's now.
xz : Let's wait and see how it goes...

葬禮。後感

昨晚去參與了一個葬禮。

每家都有本難念的經。四分五裂後的家庭,或許也只有在這樣的時候,才會團聚。有沒有全家人團聚,我不曉得。故事太複雜了。故事裡的小孩子們都長大了。當時的成人,現在的老人,也只用家家有本難念的經來概括,還真以為當年的小孩還是小孩子咩?!一些拿著死者“遺願來道德綁架,真看不過去。不過,我就置身於外,當個觀眾好了。

我就想,萬一我走了,我希望直接拿去火葬。骨灰,要麼當肥料,要麼當塵埃好了,別念經,讓人來看什麼最後一面、送最後一程了。反正,這人世間都走過了。遺憾與否,也不重要。千萬不要才來說要實現我的遺願什麼的。嗯,我也沒想要讓還在人世的人難堪,不過也沒想要讓別人假裝來給自己好過一點。死了,還要利用我!我沒那麼偉大。

那天看了個影片,說了什麼來著。噢,不是,是一個心理醫師給的一個演講。她說,樂觀不是,別人傷害了自己,而笑說沒什麼。這並不是真正的樂觀。她沒說,但這是懦弱,別把自己當成聖人。傷害我的人,我不會原諒。只希望,你離我遠點,我離你遠點,別碰面。

別說什麼人生最後一程,就放下原諒什麼的。看到自己“寫”這些話,就可以很清晰的知道,什麼佛書、大道理,要我學會原諒、放下,這是不可能的。我只能做到,不再被傷害,忽視甚至不想起那些事情來干擾我的情緒而已。要翻舊帳的話,巨蟹座的我可能比其他人更會翻。因此,別試著在我面前用以前的“恩惠”來打動我。阿彌陀佛,我若像他們說的那樣放下,要麼出家了,要麼死了。

當然,我也感恩這些過去,讓我了解,很多人在你的生命中,就只是過客。一些在你冷的時候,給你擁抱;一些在你心上劃下傷痕;一些,就只是路過而已。你走你的陽光道,我走我的獨木橋,互不相欠,那些經歷,不過是必經之路而已。

什麼鬼,我還好好活著呢!呸呸呸~:D

星期二, 7月 14, 2020

He was my manager

Think of a leader in your life.
Someone you admire, or perhaps not.
Tell us about them.
Every detail you can conjure.


conjure = 想像

為什麼要用think of咧?用imagine,不久可以conjure嘍。這個字,是這樣用的嗎?

He was my manager. Technically not so strong, but he is still my manager. As a middle level manager of engineers, if you are not technically well-versed, it's hard to gain your subordinates trust, especially you are newly appointed middle level manager. You have no experience to lead a team, and you don't know what your team is doing.

However, he entrusted me on technical decisions, and give me enough space and opportunity to perform my job. He changed my bias towards the normal or average manager. Other team might feel sorry for us to report to him, but I feel grateful.

I think the way he handled in his journey of becoming a middle level manager is far better than expected. He did not try to prove that he has the great technical knowledge to lead the team. He also did not afraid to promote or give exposure for his subordinates that did well. He gave us enough room to grow.

Anyway, the way he handled the team, was also a miracle. It started with no one blessing, and most of us wanted to switch team. He was hired from another company, so none of us (not the management, obviously) trusted him if he has the capability to manage us.

I am maybe luckier. According to my peer, after I left the company, he treated me nicer than anyone else. Well, probably because I don't care much, and was given enough "space" for me to work on my role, and... did I give him some hard time? I am not sure. If I did, then I am grateful that he did not put it on heart, and was willing to accept me as his subordinate.

I wish him for his best.

星期一, 7月 13, 2020

My windowsill

Build us your perfect nook.
The most cozy, comfortable, soothing, lovely space built just for you.
Describe every details of this wonderful nook.


Nook means 角落.

I always wanted a big windowsill corner. Where the windows is big enough with lace and white thin cloth curtains. The sunlight, bird chirps, cool breeze make the best windows side. Looking out to the windows are high rise trees.

There's soft cushion that I can sit near by the window. Some of my favourite books are on the table, with my journal, pens, colours, and a cup of hot tea. Some background music is playing. No one could go and disturb that little peaceful corner. There are some tropical plants beside the windowsill. The air is so refreshing.

At night, the view could be the concrete jungle, where there are a lot of high rised building, with lights. The same corner that I am enjoying journaling or reading, just the view changed. Sunlight are replaced by moon light. Bird chirps become some traffic sound from the road, which is 10 or 20 storey away from where I am.

I can't decide if I want my windows view to be a real jungle, or the concrete jungle view... :D

星期日, 7月 12, 2020

心理意識




原本,題目想放心理病、精神病什麼的。這讓我覺得有種歧視的意念,因此改了,放心理意識。

我看過好一些心理醫師的“背景”介紹。他們都有個共同點,就是,他們遭受到一些心理的刺激,而想更了解心理這塊未知領域,來了解自己。因此,他們都比較可以接受“異議”,並且可以在“正常”與“非常”之間穿梭,游刃有餘。這些心理醫師,會比其他人更有同理心。

我覺得,陷入心理障礙,卻又苦無旁人協助,自己去了解心理的知識來給自己解開心鎖,是最佳的方法。

這屏幕截圖,是我今天在YouTube觀看Psych2Go的「7 things to say to someone with depression」裡的一個留言。說得一針見血。不過,身邊許多人,不就常這麼對待別人嗎?

我身邊也有這樣的人。因此,我特討厭這些人的關心。給予別人所不需要的關心,都不是真關心。這些人不會了解的。他們只覺得做了驚天動地、感人肺腑的事。就像一些人寫關於愛情的時候,說的那些,以為自己談了一場自我犧牲的偉大愛情,卻不曉得這不是對方想要的。以為感動他人的戀情,其實不過在自我感動而已。

我也儘量不做這樣的人。寧願give her space, leave her alone,也不要去打擾她。每個人都有自我療傷的能力,快與慢,就看個人功力了。不過,適時給予適當的幫助,當然也不可少。不要只做那錦上添花的事,更要避做出免落井下石的事。雪中送炭的事,要量力而為。

Dear Madam Curie

Pick a person you love or admire.
Write them a love letter.
Or a letter of appreciation.
Describe for them, in great details, your love, your admiration.
Be specific, detailed, rich in your language.


Dear Madam Curie,

I have known you since I was in Primary school. Your great discovery and invention was mentioned in one of our text books. I decided, I want to become a sciencetist when I grow up.

I love everything Science related. My most favourite was astronomy. I have a big A4 size book with all newspaper cuts on news related to Science findings, animals, plants, planets and stars, aliens...

In the Internet era now, I read more about you. You had a loving husband, who also supporting you in your career. When he died, you did not step back, but continue to work on and finally arhieve greater success in both Physics and Chemistry world. Your discovery has helped the development in medical science. Radioactivity able to kill cancerous cells and the X-ray, all these inventions have helped the mankind health up to the next level.

I could not express how much I admire you, for your determination and eager to learn everything. I am ashamed that I let myself being distracted by all other matters, and now, here I am, grown up, and could only read and write in the Internet world.

Anyway, you will always be remembered.

Salut! Madame.

星期六, 7月 11, 2020

Anniversaries...

You arrive on a scene (home? school? work?) to find chaos.
A mess, or smoke, or broken glass.
Somehting ridiculous has unfolded.
What?


It was a hot afternoon. I was having Erik Satie's Gymnopedie No 1 looped on my playlist. I reached my secondary school, and parked my car. It was 25 years after we have graduated there, and our class lead organized a reunion there.

I saw some other cars were already there, all were big cars. Looks like my schoolmates did very well in their path. I looked at my Little Pinky MyVi, which has not been washed since Chinese New Year, and sighed. I should have washed it before coming. At least, my car would be clean. I thought.

I didn't leave myself continue to grumble, and walked to our classroom, which happened to be the Biology lab. As I went near the lab, I heard some noises. Wait! That's not "some noises", but a quarrel!

I didn't like to handle this, and wanted to turn back. But P just reached, and asked me what happened? "I don't know. I was thinking of turning back, and maybe wait at the cafeteria."

"Oh, don't. Let's go and check out."

"Alright..."

As we went in, we saw S was crying. H was standing in another side of the classroom. There were 2 groups in the room. Our class teacher was standing beside S.

"Alright, S. H is doing this for you. He knew you miss your pals, so arranged this 20-years anniversary for you to be with your friends."

"But! It's our marriage anniversary today! He could have arrange this reunion on another day." H sobbed.

"Pengsan.... Apa ni..." P was still standing beside me, and I heard he whispered.

星期五, 7月 10, 2020

That football match!

Find a photograph of an event you did not attend.
Pick a stranger in the photo.
Describe the event from her/his/their perspective.


I recall few years back, my friend sent a photograph to me, which showing I was in a soccer field. Was it during World Cup period? That guy (or girl?) and I looked alike! Imagine the photo for this story. :)

It was the first half of the match. It rained a bit, the field was wet. However, everyone was so excited about the match. It's 0-1, between Czech Republic and Croatia. Croatia was leading. The Croatia supporters were so happy. When the second half started, the Croatia team act even faster and more energetic!

"Goooaaaaaaaaaaal!" Again! The Croatia team managed to get the 2nd goal! Everyone was overwhelm! Looks like Czech Republic has no chance in this match.

Czech Replublic's team manager quickly made a decision to replace with 2 substitutions. The strategy worked! One of the substitusions got the first goal for their team! The spirits of having hope to win again rose within the team. However, they still yet to get a second chance to make a goal again.

The team manager do the second substitution. The new substitution did not let them down! He managed to get a penalty kick opportunity, and made it at the last few minutes!

2-2! At the end of the match! It's a tie! Everyone was happy!

Done. There was a joke saying, why the adults in the field need to chase after a ball? Why don't give them each a ball so no one is hurt or tired. :D

I don't have the patience to watch football match. I think watch YouTube would be a lot more fun. :D

P/S: I got the details at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/UEFA_Euro_2016_Group_D#Czech_Republic_vs_Croatia

上半年、下半年






不翻看照片不知道,原來自己寫錯字!還已經po在IG上面呢!唉~

這篇文章呢,純粹為了湊數⋯⋯每天要寫一篇blog文,那20“ writing不算。不過,又不想把這照片放在我的photo blog,就搬來這裡吧。:P

話說,這下半年,還不知道會怎麼樣。OpenStack training是定下了。現在⋯⋯噢不!是明天!也不是,是待會下午的時候,不知道第二個training會不會被approve。那個就關於security方面的。我上司比我更清楚年初說的training plan。哈!我還以為我的2nd training是pentest,原來不是。加油!

這兩天參與了VMWare和AWS的webinar。還不錯。剩下的Dockers和Jenkins的課程,還沒完成呢!擱置了兩個星期⋯⋯加油加油!

星期四, 7月 09, 2020

Listen to your soul

You are among three people who arrive at a hidden place.
A lake deep in the forest, or a castle deep in the mountains, or a lost island.
Soon enough, the group will uncover a hidden secret.


I wasn't sure if it's even real. After reading the book, "Norwegian Wood" (to be frank, I never read it), we started to plan our trip to Norway. The same-titled song by Wu Bai sang that, there's a clear-water lake, the atmostphere are so peaceful, and the secrets hidden under the white moonlit... We longed to be there to feel it on our own.

(I am stuck... I went to Google Maps to check out Norway's lakes. Then continued to Google on travel tips in Norway... :D)

We flied to Tromsø, rented a car, and drove to Extra Breivika to buy groceries. Then, we checked in to Tromsø Lodge & Camping.

We were too tired, and cooked ourselves some instant noodle, then went to bed.

The next day, finally we are energized. We walked along Tromsdalselva river. We walked for several hours, I am not sure how long it was. Then, we saw a small hut in the woods. We walked close to the hut, and saw there a a lot of ice-crystal-like stone there.

"Choose your ice stone, you'll hear your soul." There's a note there.

"I'll take this one!" I quickly picked up the one that reasonates with me. It seemed like belonged to me and left there for a long time.

I pulled out my hand glove, and put it on my hand carefully, as I wanted to warm it up. Suddenly, I felt I was in my own world. Time froze. The ice stone slowly melt on my hand. I felt some warmth fell down from my face, then hit on the ice stone.

After some times, and it felt like ages, we were back to where we were. My friends and I just burst into tears of happiness, and slowly walked back to the lodge.

We never discuss what happened then. We never see the hut again, even though we took the same path down the river the next day.

好吧,從《挪威的森林》,到《煮雪》,我已經不知道故事變成怎麼樣了。寫了很久,就這樣結束吧。

星期三, 7月 08, 2020

wave-pollutions

An alien arrives on Earth.
Magically, you are the only Earthling who understands their language.
You are called to translate their message to the world.
Write it out for us.


Hello Eartlings.

We are from Proxima Centauri. We come in peace.

We are here, because of the wave-pollutions that are caused by your activities.

Please do not keep on sending message to the universe and ask if there's anyone out there to reply.

Some of the nations did reply, and you do not understand, or did not even realize that it was a reply, or able to decode the waves as reply.

This recurring events have caused a very bad pollutions over the universe.

We are coming to inform you, there are lives out there. Some, like you, are curious about this world, and trying to get connected with others. Some, are still evolving, and they do not harm the universe, so we'll skip visiting them. Some, like us, have already cooperate and formed alliance to take care of this universe.

You are qualified to join us, when you are able to visit to Krypton, our headquarter.

星期二, 7月 07, 2020

He wasn't lonely when he lived alone

You come across a person who has lived alone for three decades.
In the woods, in a mansion, in a haunted house, on a boat.
Tell us their story.


"I love my rose, but I have to leave her. I did put her into a glass container to protect her." He claimed.

"I guess, when you are missing someone or something, that makes you feel lonelier."

"Yes, I guess." He sadly looked into the sky.

I am not sure if he regrets, but life moves on.

I once met with another person, who has lived alone in the woods for a long long while. He seemed to enjoy his life. He told me, he could sing out loud as no one is watching. He could dance in the wind with flowers and leaves flying around. He loves to wander in the wood, and loves the encounters with name unknown creatures and plants. He never feel alone.

I asked him, "What about your family? Don't you miss them?"

He looked into my eyes, paused, then said. "To be frank, I don't. I feel lonely when I am with them."


Well, in case you are wondering where I am getting the writing prompts from, it's writescape

星期一, 7月 06, 2020

The "rock"

Somehow you travel to the deepest part of the ocean.
It is barren, they said.
Oh, but you discover that it's not.
It's not barren at all.
Tell us what you find.


It was dark down there. You could only see the rays of light from our vehicle light. It was so quiet but peaceful down there. We reached to the floor, and started to observe around.

There are a lot of rocks on the floor, not as sandy as we imagined. However, there is no sign of lives there.

Suddenly, something moved. I am sure something was moving! I tried to watch closely where the light could reach. Then, it moved again! One of the rocks is moving! Then, I saw more rocks move! They were actually moved so slow that you could neglect that movement!

"Look! That big rock is now 1 degree off from it's original position!" I yelled to my teammates.

We realized, they are moving by ... it's like snail. They were actually gliding along! Then, we start to see the traits of plant on the floor! It's algae-like plant. The rocks that we saw are living things! Down there, it's not barren at all!

We were so delighted and took a lot of photos and video. When we wanted to raise and tell the world what we found, we just realized there is another big "rock" stand on top of our vehicle. We could not move at all!

"Help!"

星期日, 7月 05, 2020

It's Psyduck!

You dig a hole at the beach and uncover a hatch.
Of course you open it.
Of course you do!
What do you find?


I was chasing a baby crab. It run into a hole, and then disappear. I saw there was a big shell near by, so I used it to dig the hole to be bigger. I wanted to talk to that crab.

The sea level slowly falling. I am not sure if I used the right word, but... the sea water is flowing further and further away from us.

I continue to dig, but I didn't see the crab that I met. Instead, I saw some eggs. "Would it be the eggs of crab?" I silently asked myself. "No, that can't be." My guts told me, it isn't the crab egg. But, what could it be?

I took the eggs out, and suddenly one of the eggs start to crack in my hands!

A Psyduck came out!

"Oh my god... oh my god... Oh! My! God!"

It was so cute. Before I could start to think what to do with it, my brother came.

"Look, go-go. I found a Psyduck!"

"Let it go!" My brother yelled. "Daddy is not going to let you have it!"

"But.. go-go, I want it! I want it! The crab bring it to me! No, the crab bring me to it!" I started to talk non-sense, and burst into tears.

"Be good, mei-mei. Just let it go. His mother would miss him, if you take it away."

"But, why mummy never miss me when she is away?" I knew my brother won't able to answer me. So, I put down Psyduck and other eggs, and ran.

好吧,這應該有離題吧?我也不曉得要怎麼寫得特別點了。:D

星期六, 7月 04, 2020

The old man

Invent a superhero with a wonderful superpower, but also a terrible flaw.
A flaw that humanizes them, or puts them in danger.
Nobody is perfect, right?


There was a man, he could see things from afar. We do not know how far he could see. He also could hear sounds clearly, though it is so soft, or even out of normal human could listen's range.

When his neighbours worry about their kids, who yet to reach home after school, he would help them to take a look if the kids are safe and on the way home. If the kids got retention after school, he would try to listen to the kids and teacher, if everything is alright.

Julia also asked for his help to check out if her husband who works in the city is doing well.

Sam would ask him to see if the postman is on the way to the village with the letter that he longed to received.

Barbara would ask him if her mother-in-law complains the food she cooked.

Everyone likes him for his willingness to help all these tiny little favour. However, there's one thing that they wish he could change. He is now 80 years old, just like other old man, he likes to nag a lot, and tell all the grandmother and grandfather stories over and over again. Only the kids would love to listen to his stories.

Without him, this small village would not be as peaceful as it is now, and as lively as it is now.

故事好像寫得很差。就是想寫一位住在小鄉村老公公。他有超能力,千里眼和順風耳。日常,他幫鄰里“探望”親人,也順便幫一些鄰居去“偷聽”一些消息。不過,他就是愛念、老愛重複他的故事。大人們不喜歡,孩子們很開心。

星期五, 7月 03, 2020

preserverance

What is your best quality?
Describe it. In details.
Be generous, effusive.
Tell us all about it.
Brag like no one is reading.


My best quality.. hmm... preserverance(毅力)?

I have strong determination, however, it really depends on mood and my laziness level... Hey! I am supposed to talk about my best quality, not bad qualities... :D

With this quality, I managed to complete half-marathon few times, without proper training. I completed Inktober prompts for 3 years, and plan to continue this every year. I have done 12-month music writing in 2016, and 30-day 2020心情雜記 YouTube uploads.

Well, I am not able to think of any other achivement to support this. All other projects or works, seems like impacted by the laziness level and on halt, or slow progress. But I want to have this 20-minute writing to be sucess in this month. Just, I haven't fix a time in a day to do this. But it shall be in the morning. So, what I am starting today is just right. :)

I am also believe in life-long learning. This is related to this preserverance too. I am determined to continue to learn new things. This month, I have planned to continue the effort that I started last month, to take some courses on Dockers, Kubernetes and Jenkins. Next month, I'll focus on Microservices. These would help me better in devops field. I hope that it would help me to contribute to my organization, in whatever way, but not coding. Not only because I no longer want to become a developer, but I am totally not clicked with this dev team. However, this team also have high preserverance and determination, which can do nothing else except coding. OK, I exaggerate too much.

Alright, I spent more than 20 minutes on this, I shall stop here.

星期四, 7月 02, 2020

My first car

You find a vehicle under a tarp in a field.
What kind of vehicle?
A stolen car, a time machine, or perhaps a bike that flies.
You take it for a spin.
What happens next?

That was my first car, Nissan Sunny 130Y. It was declared a total lost in 2005. I have not seen it for 15 years. I can't believe it's still... alive! There's no dent at all, my Little Dark Grey.

I walked near it, and opened the driver seat door. I hesitated a bit, but I sit in. I tried to turn the sterling a bit, it is as hard as before. Yes, it doesn't have the power sterling back then.

I tried to mimic the manual change gear action, get it positioned into first gear. I trained by this car on manual transmission for at least 7 or 8 years. I am still a proud manual transmission car driver.

Oh! Look at the cassette player! And... I just unable to imagine further. My last car with cassette player left me about 5 years ago. I am not sure if the cassette player that I imagine now, is part of the Nissan Sunny, or probably my dad's older car. My last car replaced this Little Dark Grey after I lost it. I remembered I imposed 2 main criteria before I got Kembara, it must have cassette player, and the windows must be manual winding type. Oh! It was 3 actually, it must be manual transmission.

Little Pinky, which I am having now, it's just fulfilled the manual transmission criteria. For I could not find any new car model with manual winding windows and cassette player.

Suddenly, Little Dark Grey was knocked by a trailer. I didn't see it's coming. The whole world was spinning. What happened?

It felt like the day, when I met with accident, in Little Dark Grey. I am not sure if I passed out, but I found myself sitting at the bench near the field. There's no Little Dark Grey in the middle of the field. I probably just suddenly think of it, and felt it was here again.

星期三, 7月 01, 2020

Things that make me don't feel like talking

Write a conversation deeply out of place for its setting.
Two people laughing at a funeral.
Crying sad at a wedding.
Depressed at a baby shower.
Overjoyed at an exam.
Let them talk it out.



Well, I am not sure how shall I start this. Recently, I am into listening to a playlist consists of the Heart Sutra music by Japanese Zen Music. It's very calming. Last night I had it played for more than an hour, and there was no dog barks or cat meows. It's definitely an extraordinary night for me, and I managed to get my July journal spread done then. OK, I shall back to my story for today.

It was lunch time. I was having lunch with my mum. She always complained that I don't talk much to her. I am not like my sister, can repeat the stories at work place over and over again. But, I am not sure why, at that point of time, I just feel like talking to her.

This remind me of another "talking session" that I had with her couple of days back. I just want to have a heart-to-heart session.

I started by saying, I know that she loves me, though I have different expectation. And I...

So, before I manage to continue, she said, "I really feel like I should help you to cut your hair shorter."

I am like... "Huh?"

"Did you know what I was talking about?"

"Yes, I did. I thought you finished your lines."

I took a deep breathe, and said, "Okay."

Back to the conversation during lunch time.

"You know, I missed old days a lot. I recall the orange soda in glass bottle. Do you remember it?"

She was busy munching. "Yeah."

"I missed grandmother's place. I recall... wait! Besides the orange colour soda drink, I recall there was a dark colour one. Right?"

I was excited to keep digging deeper in my memory lane. I looked at her, while continue to have my next bite of food. "Hmm..." She was still busy munching.

"Wait! Wait! It was Sarsi! Right??!! Right??!!" I am getting more and more excited.

"Can you stop talking? It's meal time now. We don't talk during meal time."

"But, I could hardly find suitable time to talk with you... You said I seldom talk with you..." I felt hurt, a little bit.

"Yes, but now is meal time. We eat during meal time, not talking." She continued to eat.

"Oh... OK."

Hmm.. did I get the theme right? :D

小時候



我有時候很好奇,所謂傳統,是怎麼來的?兒時的記憶,書上、網上讀來的,聽別人說的,聽父母說的⋯⋯全都有自己的模樣。那,何謂傳統?何謂習俗?

說通俗一點,那只是某人的習慣、某人的偏愛而已。你想要別人跟你的,就用傳統、習俗來代替習慣與偏愛的字眼。

小時候,要過年時,外婆家有個用布當門簾的櫃子,裡面會有很多支像昨天畫的那些玻璃樽橙汁汽水。我們會用紅紙剪成像流蘇樣子,裝飾那玻璃樽。然後就擺在神台那裡,當作是供品之一。

我記得,我們家也是這樣。我還記得,它其實有兩種味道的,另一種味道是Sarsi。不過,不曉得什麼時候,這種汽水就退出了我們的生活。照理由,應該會有替代品。我不曉得是不是由那些塑料瓶的汽水代替。我只知道,很多年了,神台上是沒有汽水的。

好懷念那些“傳統”和“習俗”啊~

今天開始不再錄影片和讓自己每天在「2020心情雜記」上做畫什麼的。明早是否會有什麼東西寫呢?或許,就每天來個20minutes writing吧。^^

星期二, 6月 30, 2020

下半年



WW27開始了,意味著下半年也開始了。雖然已經做了一些策劃,改變,不過,好像還是沒有做好心理準備去開始。我的pomodoro計劃沒真正的用起來。嗯,給這六月的最後兩天做緩衝吧。

有點捨不得的感覺。今天將會是最後一天錄製為期30天的「2020心情雜記」影片。沒想到自己會堅持下來。大生病那天,以為會“缺席”了,不過,還是挺過來了。

昨天的影片分了兩段。之間收到了一通來自⋯⋯忘了名字的慈善機構。她說,是今年二月時候,有人在外籌款記錄裡有我的名字和電話號碼。然後,她跟我要了Whatsapp,我拒絕了。我不想受到這樣所謂的慈善機構的壓力,然後捐款。現實裡,可能真的很多這些老人院、孤兒院真的需要資助,而這樣的打電話、在外籌款,是他們可以得到捐款的贊助。我想,我們的政府在幹嘛?!如果,把這些人都當作騙子的話,我想,這世界到底是怎麼啦?!嗯,這純粹發發牢騷。

話說回來,我給這小米電話給害慘了。我是用雙卡的,一張沒有上網配套的,因此我的設定是只用第二張上網。前幾天,應該是有software update,它⋯⋯它⋯⋯它竟然擅自改了那設定!X的。這樣一來,我就中了RM250的Unbilled Amount!Digi還特地寄短訊通知我。還說,Further usage will not be charged。無語問蒼天。MI,你太令我失望了。這錢,我可以在淘寶買多少東西,你知道嗎?!

不說了,再說也無用。就發牢騷到此為止吧。

今天,不曉得要不要畫多肉植物⋯⋯還是畫昨日憶起的那童年的記憶?

和解

今早沒工作。在IG裡看了一個影片,和Oprah有關的。她和她母親的關係並不是很好。不過,最後她們之間還是和解了,她原諒她母親,她也愛她母親。

很多時候,我們會怪罪原生家庭造成我們現在的種種。因為原生家庭裡,父親施虐,母親默默承受。孩子長大後,男孩可能會重滔覆轍,雖然小時候不認同父親的作為。然後,怪罪這是遺傳性的,或者小時候受到了精神創傷,才會這樣。然後,惡性循環。

我也會這樣的怪父母。我偏執,有少許自虐,還有想毀滅念頭。我覺得是因為小時候,父母不懂我,不會教我、育我,而他們卻每次都說,我是小孩,他們是大人,他們說的一定沒有錯,他們做的一定沒有錯。我不認同。這是認為我是無知小孩嗎?為什麼我錯了,需要道歉?而他們錯了,就不了了之?為什麼我一定要聽他們的?很多的為什麼還有對比下來的不公平,我都不了解。

這支影片,終於告訴了我答案。

我們對父母有要求,希望他們跟著我們的需求來愛我們,或許是句稱讚、一句肯定什麼的、一個擁抱、一個眼神、一份了解、一份體恤。(在寫著這個當兒,我還是會好奇,難道他們兒時不會想要這些嗎?他們是忘了嗎?我問過這個問題,母親說沒有人像我這樣鑽牛角尖的⋯⋯)影片裡有一句話,太深刻了。在我們有這樣的要求下,其實父母已經用他們所知道最好的方式來愛我們。

https://www.facebook.com/goalcast/videos/649369985921254/

Do you have a 10-gallons capacity for love?

嗯,我感觸良多的。去年年底,我買了三本和解的書,還沒開始看。希望今年可以看完。

我們要放下的,要接受過去,是因為它已經過去了。

星期一, 6月 29, 2020

上半年


翻看了一下我的「2020心情雜記」,發現好像很久沒畫那小女孩了。因此,決定找個和心情相應的圖案來畫。

這是我第一次在畫畫和錄影當中,父母沒有在客廳看戲。過程裡,整個世界靜得好像就屬於我的。有點衝動想用原速度來上傳這支影片。

在規劃自己的下半年,還有總結上半年的成績當兒,我有三檔工作進行著。原本只有一個project的,後來,因為同事明天拿假,再加上另一個project據說需要人幫忙,我索性一併拿下。

上半年了,比較沒有規劃性的學東西、做東西。連這個系列的影片也是因為一時興起,連續做了幾天而堅持了一個月。明天會最後一天錄這個,後天發布,然後就正式進入下半年了。

這上半年,完成了以下:
  • 2個pentest課程
  • 至昨天為止,發布了32支YouTube
  • RH OpenShift課程
  • 3本書
  • 6篇KDB的po文
  • 19篇20minutes writing
開始了一些⋯⋯可能擱置了,一些還在進行中。
  • 白血公主
  • Dockers課程
  • Jenkins課程
  • Gluu 4 setup
  • 學Flutter - 這個我打算暫時放棄
  • MySQL和MongoDB的對比
一些一直斷斷續續進行中的。
  • 日語
  • 圖文
  • Iceland的文章
  • 練書法
  • 畫畫
等公司批准的課程:
  • RH OpenStack II
完全沒有進展的,可能明年不續membership了⋯⋯
  • IDF
  • SimplyPiano
今年就放棄了的membership
  • (ISC)2 - CCSP associate
一些擱置或沒有進展的,和這個Covid-19多多少少都有點關係。

至於下半年,我打算用pomodoro來規劃時間,然後把那些想完成的,一個個用pomodoro切割時間來完成。有個新的project,我叫它做「三分鐘熱度」。希望能順利進行。:)

至於habit tracking方面,4月裡完全沒有辦到冥思,於是五月起放棄了這個。運動方面,在老家沒有比較合適的地方,加上惰性,因此在打卡頁上有很多空洞。睡眠方面,有一段日子,因為米環的帶子壞了,無法勾上,我只能用自己的認知去track。不過,還是會有幾天特別遲睡。大部份是因為追小說、看YouTube⋯⋯唉~希望下半年,可以培養好習慣。不過,今天就遲醒了,因為昨天遲睡。:|

Anyway,繼續加油!

星期日, 6月 28, 2020

鬱金香



早安,今天是星期天。今天得工作,有三組project。Anyway,今早的確比平時起床早很多。已經很久沒有在七點之前起床了,因此今天有點充滿衝勁兒~

先由Erik Satie的音樂做開場白。正好符合這天畫的part one。

接下來,當然要用自己的音樂啦~

因為觀看淘寶開箱影片,讓我接觸到在新加坡生活的一位長沙妹子的影片。看見她買了一束鬱金香,擺設在玻璃瓶裡,很漂亮。

我是憑想像和“回憶”去畫這鬱金香。不過,要畫花瓶的時候,茶水很難給花瓶繪出來,於是變成了花盆。嘻嘻~

這畫作效果,遠沒有幾天前嘗試隨便畫花朵的效果來得漂亮,懊惱-ing。

嗯,今天除了工作以外,給自己也添了一些to-do事項。嗯,至少要回顧上半年,還有七月的planning。嗯,加油!

噢,對了,可能7月開始,就不每天弄這系列的影片了。因為,我有新project想上演。;)為了這個,我可落下了其他project進展丫~這得好好計劃計劃才行。

人生充滿樂趣呀!

星期六, 6月 27, 2020

蛋糕



昨天是我生日,很久沒有過像平日的生日了。所謂平日生日是,就是在家裡,哪都不用去,吃平時吃的東西,沒有特地去打扮、換裝。基本上,這就符合宅女的生日嘛~

不過,我也剛病癒,也沒完全痊癒啦~因此,可以這麼過日子,不需要特地早睡、喝溫開水什麼的,就已經很好了。

我也不曉得是父親特地去買這pandan蛋糕,還是正好他想吃。我就想像是自己的生日蛋糕吧?!它是已切好一塊塊的,我拿了一塊來吃。就這樣。

沒有生日禮物或生日歌。不過,ET約好待我回KL工作時,我們一起去吃一餐。真想念和她偶爾出來找cafe的日子。

星期五, 6月 26, 2020

粽子節



又是粽子飄香的季節了。你家有包粽子嗎?我家,我母親負責。我不曉得那已嫁出去的妹妹家人是怎麼“慶祝”端午節的,有沒有包粽子?不過,我們都最喜歡吃母親裹的粽子。嗯,裹粽子比較文雅一點。

我喜歡自己寫的這一句:端午節已經是吃貨的節日了。君不見,到處都有粽影。

哈哈!

星期四, 6月 25, 2020

小性感 and 大傷風



我的精神年齡,比別人長得慢吧?

我才發現,這個視窗一直開著,從昨天擱置到今天⋯⋯哈哈~

也是,昨天突然大傷風,因此很多東西都放在一旁。就把昨天的影片一起發吧。



我畫的是,由紙巾包的“雲吞”。昨天用了超過兩大包的紙巾⋯⋯

嗯,也是因為我容易受寒、傷風,因此都很少可以穿一字肩或比較性感的衣服。嗚嗚嗚~

星期二, 6月 23, 2020

隨心所欲



昨夜,我的a line a day,寫著的是:有時候,我會懷疑初心,懷疑意義,然後,這是我懶惰的藉口。

這可能和寂寞有關。雖然沒有想要人陪,也不代表不會覺得寂寞。寂寞這東西,我才發現和有人陪並沒有什麼關係的。

我寂寞,可能因為沒有勁兒去練毛筆字,沒有想要寫寫東西或畫什麼,沒有想要彈吉他,追著的小說沒有更新,沒有精緻的美食吃,沒有不一樣的風景讓我拍照⋯⋯啊!這多寂寞啊!

然後,我發現,我的寂寞和懶惰掛勾,它們有著無法剪斷的裙帶關係。唉~

星期一, 6月 22, 2020

紙膠帶開箱



我是看了不少淘寶開箱、文具開箱的影片。我自己也想弄個開箱影片。不過,這個只是淡淡一個紙膠卷開箱,就弄得我手晃腳亂⋯⋯

其實,這個開箱,在影片裡也只佔了大概五分之一的時間,如果沒有額外加速的話,應該會佔五分之二的時間。哈哈!只是開個紙膠卷而已耶!笨手笨腳的⋯⋯

和這個紙膠卷一起的,還有另一個紙膠卷,那是關於旅行的。好喜歡這些圖案啊~不過,我的畫功有限⋯⋯

因為這本子是屬於比較粗面的,紙膠卷並不能黏好。等用完這本子,我就要用TN本子!

昨夜,用茶水塗了一些花,然後用勾線筆畫上紋路,感覺畫得不錯。不過,沒有拍影片。等那茶水乾了,才能繼續。等的時間比較長。

星期日, 6月 21, 2020

雨水十滴



這個企劃,最重要的是,在「2020心情雜記」的本子裡寫下一些東西。嗯,就是這樣。懶惰去畫畫,還是要在本子上留下一些東西。

先把一些所需要的工具拿過來。嗯,這是另一張桌子。

接下來⋯⋯畫水滴吧?嗯,或許就可以“畫”出那「Memory, with rain」的感覺。

畫了第一滴,還是沒啥感覺。就繼續畫吧。隨便畫。好像很多水滴了。嗯,夠了。算算看,一共有十滴。

十滴嗎?要插什麼字呢?再算算看,還是十滴。幸好是十滴。就放「雨水十滴」吧。如果超過十滴,就不好聽了。雨水十一滴。哈!

嗯,陳綺貞那首歌叫「雨水一盒」,我這是「雨水十滴」。

懶人作品,完畢。

星期六, 6月 20, 2020

咖啡與龍貓



其實,咖啡與龍貓沒啥關係。不過,就是我剛好選了咖啡的印章,還有龍貓的拼貼而組成的。我原本是想像那些YouTuber弄一頁拼貼的。拿出來的那盒膠紙,最後還是沒派上用場⋯⋯

正好,我昨天早上弄了杯咖啡。挺“應景”的。

昨天弄這影片背景音樂的時候,就想用比較輕鬆的音樂。So far,我弄過的最輕鬆音樂,應該就是這爵士版的混亂的純真。噢,排名第二的,應該就是Sound of Happiness吧?這兩支音樂都有放進這影片裡。我也放了一些自己的詞曲創作在裡面。管那些copyright不copyright的,用自己的創作比較安心。加上,還可以把舊作推一推,也不錯。

我在硬盤裡,也找到一些沒有在我創作本子裡記錄的創作⋯⋯我還以為全都記錄下來了。昨晚翻聽的時候,有點被自己“驚”到。哈!

我喜歡龍貓,應該可以看得出來吧?嗯,我幾年前買了十支還是十二支龍貓的筆!這應該是最後的一、兩支了。捨不得用⋯⋯

偷偷告訴你,我還有件有龍貓圖案的衛衣呢!(驕傲)

星期五, 6月 19, 2020

漫漫、匆匆



昨天早上,讓父親出門自己去拿藥。他“順便”買了很多外食回來。有nasi lemak還有kuih,很多很多的kuih。平時,我是吃麥片為早餐,結果吃了一包nasi lemak,我一直到晚餐時間才有辦法吃下一餐。我不喜歡這樣。父親的好意,我是知道的,不過⋯⋯大亂了一家人的三餐,實在不值。和父母說了很多遍,不要煮太多,不要買太多⋯⋯結果都是與夏蟲言冰。無奈啊~

這還是我傍晚時候畫的。再拖下去,晚上的燈光就更不好。而且,我可能就不錄了。因此隨便找了個多肉植物的貼紙,跟畫。畫得挺糟糕的。

遲疑了一下,終於想到就寫下「漫漫」。漫漫歲月,歲月漫漫。然後覺得,還是差了點什麼的。嗯!歲月雖漫漫,但它也匆匆。匆匆的“匆”字是不是這麼寫,我不是很確定,於是就翻字典。

最後,再給那多肉植物畫邊線吧。畫到一半時,母親進來說,出去走走。所以,就草草結束了。

昨天半夜,我其實畫了另一張。看到自己以前拍的照片,而很想畫而畫的。:)

星期四, 6月 18, 2020

思念汽球



昨天比較遲錄製,換了個場景,另一張桌子。

前天,想要連接那外接硬盤,不過一直弄不好那電線,因此無法提取以前錄製的音樂作品。昨天,再硬來,用蠻力把它接好,終於可以用啦!這影片,終於可以用其他的背景音樂了。

有點悶悶不樂。昨天的影片又再中copyright claim。我的「憶」,是不是被人用了,還當做是他人的作品啊?我不禁這麼想。我有嘗試找那歌的,卻不能在本地播放,因此不能確定。真想去YouTube的Twitter account反應,是不是別人盜用了我的作品,當成是他的?!

話說回來,另一個鬱悶是,我也竟然沒有思念的對象。唉~一切只能靠小說、連續劇和想像。這⋯⋯應該是件好事啊!這麼一來,煩惱特少。嗯!

星期三, 6月 17, 2020

臉紅



可能因為年紀的關係,已經老大不小了,因此,再也遇不上一個可以讓我臉紅心跳的感覺。

很奇怪,既然還有那小少女心,卻為什麼都無法遇上怦然心動的對象?至少可以提供個暗戀的對象啊~

我喜歡,因此我臉紅,好像不會再發生在我的人生裡。想到這個,都覺得有點唏噓不已的感覺。

星期二, 6月 16, 2020

藍色



我對禪繞畫沒有興趣,完全提不起興趣。像這樣的塗鴉,就還好。昨天看了幾支由同一個YouTuber的繪圖影片,決定就學她畫。她分享的,都是看起來很簡易的塗鴉水彩。我很喜歡她。

覺得很懶惰。現在的空閒時間(非工作時間),我都把它畫在畫畫和看小說。真的要好好檢討檢討了。不過,檢討了卻不做什麼,好像又很說不過去。

我的心,我的心,藍藍地⋯⋯

星期一, 6月 15, 2020

小雛菊



噢,我在淘寶買了兩件有小雛菊圖案的衣服。哈!

想買很就了,終於出手了。然後,我的淘寶購物又要吿一段落了。

這次是以,這個月我生日,要賞一賞自己丫~所以,買了好一些東西。大部份的是⋯⋯文具吧?最後幾件才是衣服。

想要買比較現代感的漢服,比如說,漢服設計,不過是T恤的布料,不過就是沒找到。:(

Anyway,今天⋯⋯就是這次最後的購買吧?除非⋯⋯淘寶給我不可拒絕的紅包~哈哈~~

噢,我回家把那日期的貼紙帶回來了。不必自己寫了~;)

星期日, 6月 14, 2020

我的新手環帶



幾天前就開始戴這手環表了,注意到了嗎?

原本是想等MiBand 5,直接把它打入冷宮的。結果,左等右盼,還是只等到猜測的報導。於是,就點開Shoppee,找了一些手環帶,然後,一次性買了四條。上次這手環帶斷了的時候,給自己買了不鏽鋼金屬腕帶,商家還附送了一條硅膠腕帶。結果⋯⋯剛查了,這兩條才用了不到半年啊!心疼-ing。

花了和上次差不多相等的價錢,這次有四條了,怎麼也可以用足一年吧?!

覺得戴上米環,睡眠質量有被提高。哈~

星期六, 6月 13, 2020

購物狂



看到很多YouTuber都在弄開箱影片,心裏有點不是味道。我在家,卻沒怎麼買買買。記得兩、三年前,我瘋狂的在淘寶上購物。買了很多有的沒的的東西。每次都是寄回老家。每次都得等週末回老家才可以開箱。現在,身在老家,卻沒什麼做為,ish~~

不過,話說回來,前個星期吧?把頭髮剪得短短的,很多我喜歡的衣服,跟我的樣子更不搭了,真懊惱。不過,短髮真的太方便了⋯⋯

我只能再度跟那些比較女人的衣服捨棄。那些比較youngster的衣服,我又過了那個年齡。唉~又要嘆十聲了。

好想要這泡泡公主袖的衣服啊~

不過,我給自己買了不少紙製產品。我有很多文具類的東西啦~不過,還是有很多我沒有的⋯⋯哈哈~

星期五, 6月 12, 2020

五年日記



這本五年日記,是我在兩、三年前買的。第一次淘寶,發現很多新鮮的玩意。經過這幾年看了很多的手帳影片,這五年日記給我的感想與用法已經有很多不同了。曾經一度,我極不喜歡這本五年日記。它太大本了,而且設計很土。我買東西有個原則,就是要便宜。我怪自己為了便宜而買了這本。

後來,妹妹也說要一本,我買了本灰色,比較像是布質的皮,非常小清新的設計,大概A5尺寸的。收到的時候,我羨(嫉)慕(妒)極了。真想和她換一換。不過,這是去年買給她的。至今還未開始用。等2023年吧。她還未用的話,或許我就不必買新的了。:D

話說回來,這本一直到幾個月前,我才改觀。一是,可能受到一個IG主的影響,他的照片偏褐色的,是手帳兒(老傢伙也叫兒嗎?),並且是Midori的愛好用者。我是因為有天,他like了我的IG照片,而發現他的。後來發現,他應該是英籍退休人物。說真的,我超愛他的IG。每天中午點進去IG看的話,一定有他的新貼文。噢,然後就覺得,這本其實看起來也很貴氣,因此重新喜歡上它了。

第二,也是因為IG關係。這本子,成了一些照片的背景。真好用。哈哈!

這個星期,沒有交廿分鐘寫作作業⋯⋯待會兒看看能不能抽出時間做這個。^^

星期四, 6月 11, 2020



我覺得,我這系列的影片,傾向於弄BGM系列。(笑)

可能習慣聽自己寫的音樂,覺得挺不錯的嘛。自誇。

昨天,其實沒想到要畫什麼。開始的時候,想想了把貼紙放在一旁。腦子一直空白,於是又拿出貼紙出來。就畫多肉植物吧。不想畫肥肥的葉子,看到這花盆大大的,好像很容易畫,就選了這張。

花盆上的字,我看不清楚。加上老花眼,就沒嘗試去看那是什麼字。可能也是一些虛線什麼的。不過,一時興起,我就寫了「life is beautiful」在花盆上。後來寫那段,「詩與遠方很美,鄰近的花也很美」,我想到,很多人都給文章或文字插畫。我⋯⋯這是插字。哈哈!

那個粉紅「美」字,是想根據那個「虞美人」的描紅紙的寫法,弄得怪怪的。

這個週末會回我家一趟。期待-ing。

星期三, 6月 10, 2020

Dream is a miracle



昨天有點懶,不想跟畫,也想不到要畫什麼。片頭,我刪了一段。那是拿出紙膠帶,想弄個框框什麼的,不過最後作罷。

很奇怪,可能因為日更的關係,連續兩天的影片都有留言,那些帳戶似乎是幫你推廣頻道什麼的,我沒做理會。留言了,卻沒有給我貢獻一個view,太可惡了。:P

我原本想在那夢的泡泡裡寫上幾個字,夢想、幻想、奮鬥等。不過,這好像慢慢地會透露自己也不懂的心聲,於是就提了那個dream字。想說,畫些什麼與夢境相關的事,最近的夢又異常雜亂的。靈機一動,就繼續寫了那個is a miracle。我的圓體字還是沒練好。停練了幾個星期。是時候繼續練下去了。